I was 13 when my mother told me my father had died of a desultory organ failure after fighting in Iraq, I knew nothing would ever be the same. I soon found out it was not a random organ failure that took his life, it was his own two hands. According to "Expedition Balance: Quick Facts about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", on average, one in every seven soldier returning home from Iraq suffers from PTSD, and almost 20 veterans commit suicide each day. Also 1 in every 10 veterans does not receive the health care they desperately need. No child, spouse, or parent should lose a loved one because they did not get the help they needed after fighting for our country. How could I have known the greatest heartache in my adolescence would lead me to discover the ambition for my future.
Out of the seven, the last three stages of grief, the upward turn, reconstruction, and acceptance were the most impactful, and eye opening. The upward turn was the stage I realized while being hurt by this tragedy, it opened my eyes to the hidden neglect of U.S veterans. This stage I grew as a person, letting myself become more compassionate then before. Starting to open up about what happened, to my mom led to a tighter bong between us two and healed the aches that had become between my friends and I.
I reconstructed my daily life and put parts of myself back that had been missing. Becoming a better student and raising my grades became a main goal for myself. Working hard to get my grades up, which took time, paid off in the end. The honor roll was a great accomplishment at the time. Joining clubs like student government and prom committee, where learning a lot about team work, organization and leadership was an everyday activity, while having great adventurous and making meaningful memories with old and new friends. I also earned myself an after school job working at a local ice cream shop. Having this job taught me a lot about the ins and outs of owning and running your own business like, stocking supplies, payroll, customer service and more. This really opened my eyes to what I wanted to do with my future.
Before even realizing it, I had stopped thinking about the tragedy and became a part of the acceptance stage. This stage brought about the hope to help other family's going through what I had went through with mine. Experiencing this loss led to the dream of helping others hurting from the same hardship. I hope to help as many wounded families and individuals as possible. Although being young, I now know how fast time can pass on, no one should have to spend their time in the seven stages.
Nothing could have prepared me for this tragic experience, later becoming the tremendous eye opener into my college career. The events that took place during my adolescent years are the key reminders of why becoming a successful business woman is the main focus during my time earning a degree. That is why I am so excited to earn a degree in business: I am going to help 1 in every 10 veterans who does not receive the health care they desperately need.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Leigha, I sense a disconnect between the main focus of your essay and its content. Your opening statement was very strong towards helping the veterans and the latter part said that you want to help the veterans who do not receive any healthcare. Yet your actions towards helping veterans this early, their connection to your actual ambition and how you hope to help them in the future cannot be seen nor felt in the other parts of the essay. If you give helping the veterans as the main core of your essay, then it should be a continuous process seen throughout the essay. Even as you speak of your other activities, you need to connect those to your desire to help the soldiers in need. Otherwise, you seem to be trying to tell two stories at once within the essay. The essay is good, but it needs to be improved in order to become better. Focus on a single story you want to tell and make sure you thoroughly develop that part of your essay in order to create a well written statement.
