Passion is my favorite word. UVA Admission Essay

I think it needs something more but I cannot determine what. Please help! If I made any mistakes, please let me know as well.

Prompt: What is your favorite word and why?

Passion is something one should always have in anything he or she does. One has to be passionate in everything, ranging from love to life to work to basically anything. Passion is my favorite word because it applies to any situation. For example, a relationship without passion is like life without love; it is still there, but something core is missing.

My mother used to tell me to do everything with all my heart. "You're doing it anyway, so why not do the best you can?" she used to say. In other words, I should be passionate about everything I do in life. That lesson stuck with me throughout the years.

My uncle is a very passionate painter and wanted to pursue that as a career. I could see the passion in his eyes whenever he held the paint brush. Unfortunately, in my home country, there are not many job opportunities in art-related fields. He tried very hard to pursue painting, but only got rejection in return. He eventually had to resort to a more realistic career choice to make a living. He goes to work every day and tries to fulfill his responsibilities, but I have never seen him be completely happy at his work. This made me realize that it is very important to be passionate about the work one does.

I think towards the end you describe your uncle too much, without much about yourself. To make this better, have examples of where you show your passion. Other than that, good essay! I applied to UVA too, good luck!