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Passion in math and science, UW-Madison your academic goals, circumstances that...


hughc 1 / 1  
Nov 23, 2010   #1
Tell us about your academic goals, circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance, and, in general, anything else you would like us to know in making an admission decision.

Please help me!!! thanks so much!

I am a member of Science Olympiad Team in high school. All of the team members are keen on science, including physics, chemistry, astronomy and other things. I became a member of this team in my junior year, which was my first year in America. The main reason I joined this team was that I loved science and wanted to compete with other people. However, I found out that the team brought me way more than just science things. There are lots of differences between doing experiments for Science Olympiad and for regular classes. The experiments for Science Olympiad are very open-ended. We have to design by ourselves, and there is no best result but better one. The Science Olympiad gives me a chance to apply the knowledge that I learn in school into the actual problems that we meet in daily life.

I have passion in math and science subject. I love doing math problems because there are many different ways to solve a problem. In science world, there are endless possibilities. Exploring unknow world makes feel satisfied. I want to major in economics because it is a subject that combines math and science. Economics is different from physics and chemistry because it is a social science; human being is a crucial factor. Economics also requires the ability to analysis data and graphs; I have the passion and ability to do the study.

Having high prestige in education, the University of Wisconsin- Madison would provide the ideal opportunity to extend my knowledge. I feel confident that I can approach my dream through the University of Wisconsin- Madison.
theAbraham 3 / 16  
Nov 23, 2010   #2
I just made changes throughout the essay; you can choose to work off my examples, or ignore them. Most changes deal with wordiness, ambiguity, and misuse of pronouns.

I'm a member of Science Olympiad Team in high school; a group of students who are keenly interested in physics, chemistry, astronomy, and other sciences. I joined the Olympiad team in my junior year, which also marked my first year in America. The main reason I joined the team was that I loved science and wanted to compete against other students; however, I realized that the team gave me value outside of scientific subjects . There are many differences between doing experiments for Science Olympiad and for regular classes. The experiments for the Science Olympiad are very open-ended: we're given a specific problem, but are left to design our own experiments and find the solution <-- (this sentence made little sense, I recommend revising it on you're own) . The Science Olympiad gives me a chance to apply the knowledge that I learn in school into the actual problems that we meet in daily life.

Sorry, I've only made it this far. For the rest of the essay, look out for errors that you've made here. Good luck.
OP hughc 1 / 1  
Nov 24, 2010   #3
thanks so much

it would be great if i could have more comments
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 4, 2010   #4
I have passion in the subjects math and science. subject .

In the world of science, there are endless possibilities.

Exploring the unknown world makes feel satisfied.

Economics also requires the ability to analysis data and graphs. I have the necessary passion and ability to complete my studies in this discipline.

Don't repeat the name of the school:
Having high prestige in education, the University of Wisconsin- Madison would provide the ideal opportunity to extend my knowledge. I feel confident that I can approach my dream through the University of Wisconsin- Madison. at your respectable institution.


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