this is my common app essay. i need feedbacks to suggest me how can i make it better
As I lift my head and part my lips, my voice escalates with every note that resonate the air. The soothing words bounce off my tongue and release the tension within. The tune that tantalizes my ears helps me make it through the day because of its comforting presence. I believe that singing is not just an art; it's a means of expressing one's emotions. Thus my passion for singing, coupled with my love for music comes from deep within my soul, mind and heart. When I sing, I sing with all of me, putting everything I can into it, and that's exactly what makes me feel complete.
I have always had a great passion for singing. From the time I could speak my first words, I was singing! Although singing in front of others had a pure sense of joy pulsing through my veins, in my own time, singing has always been way of blocking out all my worldly worries. It is one thing that I feel strongly about, knowing that I have attained the skills with perfect ease, as if it has always been there within my soul, only left for me to discover. From a very early age, I wanted to and have to quite an extent, attain a strong understanding of the use of tune, rhythm and beats, how to pace up, where to pause and breathe. My sensible approach and proficiency has made everyone appreciate my voice and my flair very much. My urge to become a singer, grew stronger with each passing day.
Realizing the prospect of my potential, my mother admitted me into an institution where I learned singing for four years. Appreciating almost all forms of music, ranging from classical to rock, I have ended up taking rigorous courses in classical music. Once I had mastered the basics, I took a step further and enhanced my skills by practicing the various and intricate "raag" and applying them wherever I felt was appropriate. Music has given me a way out of 'my box', helped me through whatever has come my way.
Through music, I have also been able to reach out to people of my community. I have been given the opportunity to teach the basics in a school for the underprivileged children. They learnt it fairly well and became fond of my style; soon I was asked to take their academic classes. Being an initiator, I always presented keen interest in making handicrafts, teaching, debating and this opportunity serves just the purpose. During my brief time with them I was able to come in close encounters, with about the hardships these children go through, the difficulties that they have to face everyday. It made me realize that we can't always decide our fates, but only hope that the world has a place for our dreams. . I had a great time teaching them, and learning those aspects of life I had not acknowledged before. I realized how these people; get through each day that brings with it, countless difficulties. They made me count my blessings, and I was grateful that music had led me there.
As I approached my senior years in school, pressure was building up and academics became my first and only priority. The more I concentrated on my studies, the more I felt my passion slip out of my fingers. And before I knew it I had to leave my music school. There grew a distance I could not cross, a barrier that made my dreams seem far-fetched for lack of practice made matters worse. The ease with which I could sing seemed to have evaporated into thin air...
But like they say, "When fate closes one door, it opens countless others'. Before long I came across teacher who truly and genuinely appreciated my singing, the very first time that he heard me. He revived the strength and the faith that I had once lost. I met him again, and he told me how music has always been a huge part of his life, and that it was his sheer love for music and his ability to sing that set him apart. Again it was music that bridged all gaps between me and a person I barely knew. It can and has connected minds just the way it linked ours. It has the potential to bring together people of all ages and races. I am overwhelmed to be able to realize that music is and has always been an indispensable part of me. It has quite righteously and consistently proven to be my greatest strength. I believe that one day it will take me to great heights and make my dream of making it the strongest unifying force in the world come true; uniting races and times, no matter how distant and how long. I have faith in the immense power of music, just like it has always had an inexplicably strong faith in me and hope these experiences to aid me in leading a successful and fulfilling future.
Although singing in front of others sent a pure sense of...
From a very early age, I wanted to, and have, to quite an extent, attained a strong understanding...
...opportunity to teach the basics in a school for the underprivileged children.
During my brief time with them, I was able to come in close encounters, withlearn about the hardships these children go through,...
I realized how these people get through what each day that brings with it,...
The more I concentrated on my studies, the more I felt my passion slip through my fingers.
There grew a distance I could not cross, a barrier that made my dreams seem far-fetched, and lack of practice made matters worse.
...always had an inexplicably strong faith in me and I hope these experiences will aid me in leading a successful and fulfilling future.
