Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. (250-650 words)
I want my intellect to grow to its full potential
California State University Northridge (CSUN) is a wonderful business and liberal arts school that I've been glad to call my home for the past two years. The motivation and drive that my professors and peers embody has inspired me on my academic journey, but I now desire to pursue a major in neuroscience, a program that CSUN unfortunately does not offer.
I feel exhilarated when I learn about the complexities of the brain. The brain's ability to harmoniously process and communicate such a vast amount of information is truly beautiful. My fascination with the brain has motivated me to immerse myself in my coursework, and to hunger for knowledge beyond textbooks and exams. I desire an education that will prepare me to do more than simply earn passing grades on tests, and to seek challenges that will push me out of my comfort zone. One important aspect of challenging myself is getting involved in the many research opportunities that Neuroscience offers. I've spent much of my past semester learning about research opportunities from my Professor and mentor Dr. Tamae, in anticipation of his upcoming lab which focuses on particular chemical pathways in breast cancer cells. This lab is not related to Neuroscience, but has definitely exposed me to a research environment. Dr. Tamae has taught me a lot through sharing his research experiences and has helped me to prepare myself to be a part of such a rigorous and demanding environment. I've also taken the time to look into the neuroscience departments of many California universities and have been astounded by the accomplishments and capabilities of many students conducting research at the undergraduate level. Upon transferring, I hope to be a part of these studies and to contribute the skills that I've learned into these efforts.
Being part of program that is full of inspired staff and students that will challenge my understanding excites me. I want my intellect to grow to its full potential, and I can't accomplish this by simply remaining in my comfort zone. I wish to tackle new challenges head on alongside peers with a similar desire for knowledge. After earning my bachelor's I plan to attend medical school and eventually carry out research of my own. As Neuroscience is still a growing field, I am sure that many new groundbreaking discoveries will be ushered in by upcoming neuroscientists. These discoveries may hold the key to curing neurological ailments that plague people worldwide, and I couldn't wish for more than to be a part of this search.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478
James, while you present a clear discussion of the objectives that you hope to achieve through your university transfer. Aside from the fact that CSUn doesn't offer this major, you do not present a strong discussion for the reasons that have compelled you to transfer to this new university. For example, you could have presented a discussion regarding the kind of training that you hope to achieve during this transfer. Remove the focus from Dr. Tamae and the contribution the professor made to your academic enlightenment at CSUN. Instead, try to find a similar professor at the new university whose research is along the lines of Neuroscience has excited you and made you realize that switching schools is the only way that you can achieve academic satisfaction at this period in your life.
Thank you so much!
Repost* Neuroscience transfer intent essay USC
Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." (250-650 words)
[...] I've taken the time to look into the neuroscience departments of many California universities and have been astounded by the accomplishments and capabilities of many students conducting research at the undergraduate level. Upon transferring, I hope to be a part of these studies and to contribute the skills that I've learned into these efforts.
Another aspect that drives my desire to transfer is a sense of community that I feel I've been missing so far in my time at CSUN. CSUN does a great job in emphasizing academic improvement and achievement, but offers few group based efforts to assist the surrounding community. Volunteer opportunities have been very important to me throughout my academic path, and more importantly, contribute to a growth that I feel is essential to my overall education. Therefore, I believe that attending a school that promotes volunteering and lays in an area with a large need for aid offers me the greatest opportunity to reach my fullest potential.
The prospect of program that is full of inspired staff and students that will challenge my understanding excites me. I want my intellect to grow to its full potential, and I can't accomplish this by [...]
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478
Joseph, the portion about your excitement about research should be directly related to the university that you will be transferring to. The reason that you want to transfer is because of a lack of certain opportunities at your current university. So an in-depth discussion of the benefits of the research that you did at CSUN contradicts your discussion of lacking proper training and opportunity there. Skip that part of shorten it to instead focus on your desire to continue developing a research interest in Neuroscience at the other university. Either way, the paragraph needs to be edited for length. Shorten it by focusing it on the discussion on why research is one of the reasons that you hope to transfer universities. The paragraphs after that are very interesting and stick to the purpose of the essay so I don't suggest changing anything in those parts.