Hello! I need help expanding my introduction. I would like to extend the ambiguity of the first sentence to keep my reader hooked and give a big payoff by showing the keys could refer to playing piano or typing. Also if you see any other issues or other suggestions feel to free to write them. Thanks for reading.
melodies and code
As my fingers meet the keys all my worries vanish. Music and programming take me away from the realities of my daily life and allow me to express myself through melodies or code.
I replayed Valentina Lisitsas performance of the Moonlight Sonata several times, trying to capture as much information as I could. I was in awe of her control of the dynamics and the clear touch of each note. Every day after school I rushed to my piano and opened Volume one of Ludwig van Beethoven's Complete Piano Sonatas and turned to page 248. I placed my fingers on the smoothly polished keys and watched them fly along the keyboard. Then I closed my eyes and let my other senses take over. Before I knew it the room darkened and my fingers began to feel tired. Motivated by my constant improvements I repeated this for months.
One day after weeks of practicing the same section I started to feel like I was stuck. I wondered why I was still working on the same thing even after weeks of practice. The keys groaned as I banged on them out of frustration. I felt deeply and insecure and sat there quietly on the verge of tears. What was the point of practicing if I wasn't improving?
A few days later in my programming class, we learned about iterative loops and recursive methods. Iteration and recursion both repeatedly execute a set of instructions to reach the desired outcome. The main difference between recursion and iteration is that in a recursion the current state is passed as parameters of the method. However, in an iteration, the current state is updated as the loop progresses. I finally realized what my problem was. I couldn't just keep repeating the same process over and over again. In order to get the results I wanted I needed to iterate. I needed to analyze the decisions I made as I played and repeatedly modify them until I reach the desired outcome. I had just hacked into my brain and figured out how to rewrite the musical code years of recursion had written there. Now when I sit down at the piano I gently place my fingers on the keys. As I let my fingers dance across the keyboard, I felt the corners of my mouth gradually turn up. I could finally enjoy playing the piano again.
Music and programming have this symbiotic relationship where in order to become a better musician I needed to become a better programmer and vice versa. When I first started programming I immediately became addicted to the surge of energy I felt through my body when I found a bug a or solved a difficult problem. I loved the feeling of creating something so complex from such simple symbols and words. Music helped me to realize that there was so much more to programming than ones and zeroes. In order to be a successful developer, I must understand how to connect with millions of people's emotions. Knowing how my product will affect them will give me a clearer understanding of the purpose of my application and help me create a product that real and genuine. In music, there are certain techniques you can use to evoke a certain emotion. For example, if you want to create a sad tone you can try slowing down the tempo or play in a minor key. Similarly, in programming, understanding how to use different design patterns and how to implement certain features is crucial for evoking the emotion I want for my intended audience.
Both of my passions motivate me to improve every day and understanding the connections between both my passions made practicing them much more enjoyable. I look forward to using my knowledge as a musician and a programmer to connect with millions of people around the world and improve their lives. I hope my code will captivate people's emotions and inspire them in the same way Beethoven's composition captivated mine.
Vivialin, why don't you consider changing your introduction from using keyboard keys to computer keys instead? There are software programs that teach a person to compose music without the use of a keyboard, just computer coding through the onscreen control panel. Why don't you create a comparative discussion of how the computer programs can now help everyone become a composer because nobody needs to know how to handle the notes, they just need to have an ear for music? The melodies that these musically inclined but not musically educated people can find a reality through computer code. Then you can merge that discussion with your love for music and your ability to play music in connection with your ability to write "musical" code. That's one way to approach your essay with a hook that could potentially catch the attention of the reviewer.
Since I am not familiar with the prompt for your essay, I cannot really offer a serious review of the rest of the essay. I can only help you out with the part that you specifically mentioned. The rest of the presentation seems to be in order though and relevant to the discussion you wish to create.