appetite of curiosity
Ooh, I like it. Get the domain name. ;-)
The reason behind
get rid of the excess.
I would reference my dad's old biology books to make sure ...
While playing a pick-up game of basketball, I was knocked out of the air and flew into the pole supporting the basketball rim and backboard---Try to revise this sentence so that it still expresses the same idea but it also expresses something about the main idea of the essay which is introduced in the first paragraph.
I was always fascinated by the ways doctors could 'magically' make painful problems disappear. There was always an inclination towards medicine and helping people that I had because my father was a doctor, but I did not have a good explanation that could meaningfully present my reasons --
that is until now.
Oh, very good stuff here. Very good writing. Make it better by doing some reading... read some recent journal articles by physicians. You can find them onnline! ind 2 that interest you, and you will have your perspective transformed. Every article you read... if you write a few sentences about it, a kind of alchemy happens in your own perspective. If you write a few sentences about one article, it transforms the way you understand everything, forever.
If it is a good article, that is.
Anyway, mention something recent you read in an article, and show that you are catching up with the stuff that people read who are already in med school.