I was wondering if someone could look over my essay for SU and give me a critque about it! thank you so much!
"In 250 to 500 words, describe one thing you haven't yet accomplished in your life that you really want to do. Explain how being at Syracuse University will help you accomplish it."
From the very first day I began directing for my school's Television Production class, I knew that my heart would be set on making a future out of it. I started out directing simple, five minute broadcasts, and moved on to a bit more complex fifteen minute broadcasts. This past June, I got to sit in the control room of CBS's "The Early Show," directed by Michael Mancini, who just so happens to reside in my hometown. I was amazed to see how much effort and collaboration goes into a live, two hour broadcast. I thought our fifteen minute broadcasts were stressful, but nothing compared to this. Being behind the scenes at "The Early Show," just gave me a bigger incentive and a stronger desire to follow in the footsteps of televisions finest directors.
I strongly believe that Syracuse University is going to guide me along the right path towards being a future television director. S.I. Newhouse is widely known to be one of the nation's most prominent schools for communications studies. It offers two state-of-the-art television studios. Television directors need to be acquainted with the equipment being used during their productions. In my Television studies at my high school, I have had hands on experience with professional studio equipment so I would have knowledge of how to use Newhouse's equipment. Not only do directors need to be familiar with the studio equipment, they need to know how to put together a successful show. Newhouse offers courses such as Television Production, Shortform Production, and Production Practicum-Television, each of which deals with the aspects of putting together basic yet effective television broadcasts. However, the basics are not always enough; directors, along with the producers, need to make sure their broadcasts capture the audience's attention. Courses such as Dramatic Writing for Television, Persuasive Writing, Comedy Writing, Children and Television, and Popular Culture Studies are offered at Newhouse. These courses will be beneficial in helping to spice up a broadcast, which is one of the roles that the director holds.
For three years now, I have held a passionate interest for television directing. My dream is to obtain a job directing a television broadcast, whether it is at a small, local station or a large, national station such as CBS. Syracuse's Newhouse School of Communication offers exceptional facilities along with intense yet worthwhile courses. With all that Newhouse and Syracuse University offer, I believe that I can achieve my aspiration of becoming a television director. I hope to one day see my name in the credits of a show, and when that day comes, I will know that Syracuse University helped me get there!
I think you've written an excellent essay! You have definitely done your homework, and I like the way you incorporate your knowledge of the courses available at the school. There is very little I can offer in the way of improvement, except for one little apostrophe: a stronger desire to follow in the footsteps oftelevision's finest directors.
Best of luck in your studies!