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(my need and passion for writing) Emerson "personal memoirs"

sarahjane515 1 / 2  
Dec 1, 2011   #1
Hello! And thank you so much for reading my thread. I'm brand new here, seeking advice on my application essay. I've never felt so much pressure when filling out a college application! Emerson is my dream school, and after nearly four years of toiling away at schools I hated and a community college where I've finally gotten back on track, I am really looking forward to this application process. My deadline isn't until March, but I really want some solid feedback on this essay before I decide if it's The One, or if I need to keep working at it. Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy!

"We understand that the college application process often feels stressful, when instead it should be an opportunity for self-reflection. Stop worrying for a minute and have fun with this response.

Much of the work that students do at Emerson College is a form of storytelling. If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why? Please be brief. (400 - 600 words)"

It is unusual for a child to find their passion for anything at the age of eight, but the need to write and create took hold of me early. Many students of my generation attribute their love of reading and literature to the Harry Potter series, and I am proud to say that is true for me. The imagination and power of the story, as well as the exciting way it is written drew me in and never let go.

The summer I turned eleven was marred by the fact that my deeply anticipated letter of acceptance to Hogwarts never arrived. The world and my imagination became two separate planes of existance, making my need and passion for writing all the more powerful. I would title my memoirs I Never Got My Letter to reflect the power that literature has had on my perception of myself and the world around me.

After the loss of hope for Hogwarts, my education never lived up to my expectations. I wanted the challenges, the new discoveries that I read about in my fantasy books. Of course, some subjects sparked my interests. Science and math truly became dark and mystical subjects for me. English and Creative Writing became my Charms lessons, my Transfiguration lectures. Throughout my elementary education there were moments where I knew my skill for writing was unique. Much the same as Harry's random unconscious acts of magic, I shocked and surprised my family and teachers with many of my assignments. These fueled my need to cultivate my talent, inspiring journals and notebooks full of the particular magic of a young girl's imagination transformed into words.

As high school came to a close, I still hd not come to a conclusion as to what I wanted, or even where I wanted to go. I was standing in King's Cross Station, unsure of how to cross the magical barrier to Platform 9 and 3/4ths.

I had lost myself somewhere along the way. I was running in to some dangerous Dementors, creating a deep sense of doubt in myself and my abilities. I eventually pulled out of it and continued my education at Bristol Community College. I put my talents to use as Editor In Chief of the school newspaper, The Observer. BCC was a wonderful place that encouraged creativity and learning, but it still didn't feel like home.

It happened by chance that I discovered the magic I had been searching for. A woman from the Students Transfers Office brought a packet of information on Emerson College to my newspaper's office and asked if we would run a feature article about the Next Step To Emerson scholarship. I agreed to write the story, and she placed the small envelop on my desk. She smiled as she told me I would find it particularly interesting. She was correct.

As I read about the programs and opportunities at Emerson, my heart began to race. Here, creativity and individual talent flourish. Students were given the freedom to explore all that they could do. It was a place where like-minded people went to feel like they belonged, where they made names for themselves.

Hogwarts may not be real, but the sense of uniqueness and the tailored curriculum have lead me to the conclusion that Emerson College is where I belong. It took me a long time and it was not easy to find, but as I set foot on campus to visit and learn more I felt that sense of hope and magic. The limitless possibility of one's own creativity is the base of all that goes on at Emerson. There is a sense of real-world magic at Emerson. It is brought about by the students who have taken opportunities to explore those random acts of creative magic that set them apart, and turn them into something much more. I want to explore my own brand of magic, and reach my full potential. At long last, I hope to have the letter of acceptance that I have dreamed of.
awesomemo 2 / 5  
Dec 1, 2011   #2
I really enjoy reading your essay! I too am a big fan of Harry Potter and like how you incorporated Harry Potter and magic into the essay. But the essay sort of sway away from the prompt. The prompt simply asked if you would be able to title your life until now, what would it be and why? You didn't have to talk about your life but its not bad. I hope.. this helps a bit. Maybe try to organize it a bit.
ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 96  
Dec 1, 2011   #3
Hi Sarah! I love Harry Potter too! Your essay speaks your thoughts with such clarity, it's commendable. :
There's a small typo -

As high school came to a close, I still hdhad not come to a conclusion as

Your writing is really good, but I agree with the above post, you have swayed a little from the topic. Try to focus more on the prompt and make changes to your essay. That should make it perfect! :)

Hope this helps.

PLEASE help me with both my essays!! Thanks in advance! :)
kayleighlevitt 5 / 8  
Dec 13, 2011   #4
I think you nailed your title on the head. "I Never Got My Letter" I can see that you really want to go to Emerson. (I do too, look at my essay :) ) It seems like the metaphors and allusions get lost among each other because they are so close together in the 2nd paragraph. Emerson symbolizes the Hogwarts you've been waiting for which is awesome. To bring the essay more tact, try arranging it differently. As a suggestion The first paragraph could be the imagery of you waiting to get your letter at age 11. Then talk about yourself more, like who you are, and why not getting your "letter" effected you and what that means. Hope that helps!

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