Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?
Passionate professors, rigorous education, and diverse student population. These are what Penn will certainly bring to her students. However, other colleges may have them too. I am interested in Penn not only for the top 10 reasons listed on the Penn website, but also for the qualities and connections that, to me, only Penn's communities can accommodate.
Penn is a university that had an inspirational effect on me. The social panorama formulated by each of Penn's unique community constitutes a creative atmosphere that serves as an attraction. Legends, history, and traditions all contribute to the overall effect. An interesting legend was created about the Franklin statue in front of the Fisher Fine Arts Library. Supposedly, when Franklin sat down in his chair, the button on his vest pocket popped off, rolled across Locust Walk, and broke in halves, resulting in the giant split button sculpture. This phenomenon is located in the middle of the library circle. I can imagine myself sitting in one of those libraries brain-blocked on a subject, and something amazing comes to mind when I look out of the window and see Franklin in his chair, one vest button missing. It is like a spark that could prompt a sequence of fiery imaginations, ideas, and visions.
The Penn community contains a silent but strong motivation that I find valuable and unique. Learning in a historically magnificent environment is different from learning in just a school. The university's long history reflects the hard work that has been put into the development of each of the academic communities. In 1740, even after initial funds fell through for the first attempt, Franklin's persistent effort in advocating higher education pulled through, resulting in the first building that led to the esteemed Penn of today. Isn't this a motivation to study hard for each person who is so fortunate to be a Penn student? Also, personally, going to Penn would be an absolutely amazing feeling because it is a school built by the person I have admired since childhood. I believe the experience at Penn will help me to achieve my ultimate goal: to become a great contributor to the society just like Benjamin Franklin.
The Penn hospital is a commendable establishment. The workers there all have passion, dedication, and perseverance. I learned this from my personal relationship with the Penn hospital. My grandmother was rushed to one of the Penn hospitals when she had an unexpected stroke. We left her in the trustworthy hands of the doctors and nurses there, and without a doubt, they had taken good care of her until the very last breath she took. Even though her condition was grave, the doctors tried hard to save her. I can't imagine a better hospital she could have been sent to. I thought if I went to Penn, I could be part of the hospital and contribute to it. I want to help Penn hospital's future patients like the people there have helped my family. I want to give back a little of what I have received. If I go to Penn, service at Penn hospital is at the top of my to-do list.
Of course, the 10 reasons listed on the Penn website are also great characteristics of the university. Passionate professors can excite the students in learning the materials and make the classes fun and interesting. A rigorous education is necessary in preparing the students well to be ready for the society in the future. Exposure to different cultures and studies from a diverse student population can increase awareness and broaden our knowledge. All these good characteristics combined with inspiration and motivation creates a perfect education and social community. I think it is the best choice of college for me personally to go to.
does my essay answer the question?
i'm not sure about this one...
but i don't know how to make it better.
I would avoid saying "I am interested in Penn not only because of the top 10 reasons listed on the Penn website..." since any Penn applicant can look at the website, avoid it altogether.
If you've visited the campus, you should write about that, rather than the website.
The "everyone at the hospital..." is probably unnecessary.
Otherwise yeeeeaaah just check your grammar sentence structure and you should be good! :)
The second one is definitely better.
I think that using the website reasons is a good idea, because it shows that you've researched it to find them. But expand on them, and what they may mean to you personally, maybe with examples. Reword them to fit your own style.
