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My past connections to places; Bowdoin / Interests and experiences


lm24601 1 / 4  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
In an effort to understand your interests and aspirations for college, we ask you to select one of the three topics below and provide a response of up to 250 words. Please include your name, birth date, and your topic choice at the top of the page.

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience.

Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following:

1. Intellectual engagement
2. The Common Good
3. Connection to place

I chose the third topic:Connection to place.

The past three years of my high school years were spent at a small school high school in Sun Valley, California. Nestled at the foot of the hills, the campus is very beautiful. The close community and the great faculty members have greatly affected my education. As I went to classes, I really enjoyed having small classes where discussions were freely held. Even though the school was very small, it offered various opportunities to pursue my interests in sports and the arts. The community has encouraged me to keep on working, and the close friendships that I cultivated have given me joy. I think Bowdoin can offer the similar opportunities like Village and possibly even more. I want to challenge myself and move to the opposite coast to Maine where it is not always sunny like southern California. By moving to Bowdoin, I believe I can create new connections and become involved in a new community where I can pursue my academic interest s. Also being a historical liberal arts college with great traditions and literary alumni, I believe I will enjoy studying history which is my interest. As I have lived in 3 different countries outside of the United States, I have learned that location really matters when it comes to learning. While I lived in Africa, I learned to eat different food as well as learn new cultures. My past connections to places have helped me to take on the challenge of creating new connections.

Feel free to comment and critique.
katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
small school high school

pick one, or small high school

Nestled at the foot of the hills, the campus is very beautiful

This beautiful campus is quietly nestled at the foot of the hills

As I went to classes, I really enjoyed having small classes

similar opportunities like Village and possibly even more

like the Village, and possibly even more.

Also being a historical liberal arts college with great traditions and literary alumni, I believe

You need to make Bowdoin the subject of your sentence if that's the first part. Right now you are saying that you are a historical liberal arts college...

You end very abruptly. It's very important and unique that you lived in 3 other countries, that's what this essay wants you to highlight! Certainly you had connections to those other places. I know there's a word limit, but it'd be good to elaborate on that. Place your bit about Bowdoin at the end to wrap it up!

Take a look at mine, tell me what you think!
OP lm24601 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
Thank you!
OP lm24601 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
I corrected some grammar mistakes and added things to the paragraph.

New Version:
The past three years of my high school years were spent at a small school in Sun Valley, California. This beautiful campus is quietly nestles at the foot of the hills. The close community and the faculty have greatly affected my education. I really enjoyed having small classes where discussions were freely held. Even though the school was very small, it offered various opportunities to pursue my interests in sports and the arts. The community has encouraged me to keep on working, and the close friendships that I cultivated have given me joy. As I have lived in 3 different countries outside of the United States, I have learned that new locations connect me to different people and cultures. While I lived in Africa, I learned to continually challenge myself by eating new food like Mmopane worms or learning a new language. My past connections to places have helped me to take on the challenge of creating new connections. I think Bowdoin can offer the similar opportunities like my high school, and possibly even more. I want to challenge myself and move to the opposite coast to Maine where it is not always sunny like southern California. By moving to Bowdoin, I believe I can create new connections and become involved in a new community where I can pursue my academic interests. Also being a historical liberal arts college with great traditions and literary alumni, Bowdoin will be a great location to study history, a great interest of mine.


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