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The patients are my motivation ; PERSONAL STATEMENT/ nursing transfer


tinkr1 3 / 6 1  
Jan 6, 2013   #1
My prompt is:

Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

I can write more than 500 words. I was trying to connect my volunteer experience as my motivation to pursue nursing because it has really changed my outlook on the nursing career field. I used some of my volunteer essay and incorporated it into my personal statement. I do not feel like it is captivating enough for a school to choose me over hundreds of other applicants! Help please!

The dreary hospital walls, the pungent smell of hospital food, the lingering diseases from hall to hall are not the ideal workplace for most. However, this is where I have chosen to pursue a career in and where I spend my free time a few hours a week. Throughout my childhood, my parents have made school a priority since neither of them has graduated college. I have always had a passion for school, and enjoy expanding my knowledge through a variety of classes. I grew up dreaming of attending a four year institution and receiving a degree. Since I have already attained my Associate's Degree in Math and Natural Science, I wish to continue my education and transfer in order to acquire a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. My long term goal is to attain my Master's Degree in Nurse Practitioner, and eventually continue on to attain my Doctorate degree as well. As I entered community college, I was unclear of what my career path was intended to be. Since I had always been intrigued by the human body science, I knew I wanted to work in the medical field. I began volunteering at the local hospital in order to experience the medical world first hand. My volunteer experience has made a lasting impact on my future and career goals, and I am certain that nursing is my true passion.

Volunteering in different units of the hospital has shown me the many different aspects of working in the medical field. I have met a variety of patients, each with their own purpose and life story. This has been the most rewarding experience because I am able to connect with and comfort these indisposed individuals. While working on the central floor, I was able to help the nurses with the terminally ill, bedridden, and handicap patients. I experienced some of the most memorable interactions with some of the older patients who would share their life stories, and remarkable life memories with me. Hearing their life stories, I was able to take their mind off of their misfortunes and help them reminisce of their youth and most unforgettable memories. Being able to help these individuals and seeing the positive difference I was making in their life, assured me that nursing was the best career path for me. I would constantly observe the nurses interact with their patients, and I admired them for their hard work and true compassion that they showed to every patient. Nursing is not an easy task, and one must be very strong willed in order to deal with the burden of death and disease.

Nurses throughout the entire hospital have a very challenging job, to care for every individual with the same compassion and have the strength to encourage their patients to remain positive no matter their situation. For the past year and a half I have been able to help these nurses, and experience their duties first hand. Every day I leave the hospital certain that I want to one day follow in their footsteps. I want to be able to make a difference in someone's life and care for them during their time in need. Pursuing a career in nursing will allow me to continue the positive experiences I have had in volunteer because I will be able to directly care for the patients and impact their happiness and health. The patients are my motivation to continue to pursue the career in nursing, as long as I am able to help save one life the hours spent in school and volunteer will have all been worthwhile.
Kitsumi 4 / 97 16  
Jan 6, 2013   #2
It's a nice essay, but you haven't said WHY you transferred. What program WERE you in? What dissatisfied you about that previous program? What do you think will happen in the new program? THOSE are the questions the prompt is hoping that you would answer as well.
jorgearmando18 8 / 32 9  
Jan 6, 2013   #3
Kitsumi

this is where I have chosen to pursue a career in. that in is not necessary

a few hours a week, what about a few hours per week. both are right is just an option, it's up to you

other that that I think that is well written though I don't have enough time right now to check it more deeply

Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve

Can I give you a tip? try to answer the prompt the most that you can, you say why you are passionate about nursing and what impact has your volunteer experience has made in your life but try also to explain more deeply the to things in the prompt, reasons fro transferring and objectives, more than why you are in nursing, you know what I mean? because is what they are expecting from your essay, don't worry, it's easy to get lost when doing this, and you are in the good way, bring it on it. By the way if you check mine I wouldn't bother :) haha

Very best of luck, Jorge


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