I just got done typing my essay for admissions to the University of Texas and would like any suggestions before I submit my paper. All and any critisizm is welcome and encouraged.
Thanks, Ryan
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
Many of the first colonists came to America with a vision of a land where they could have unlimited freedoms. They wanted to be free of their former country's laws and wanted to be able worship and roam as they pleased. While early America was still under control of various European countries, many colonists knew it would be hard for these overseas countries to regulate what went on in America. In a sense, America was a place where foreigners could come and have a chance to make something of their selves.
Today, America is similar to the place that the early colonists had once envisioned. We have the freedom of speech, freedom of petition, and the freedom of religion amongst others. However, there is one freedom that the government discreetly declines us of; privacy. While many people may feel like their private lives are independent of government regulation, they would be surprised to know that under the Patriot Act the government can legally monitor our every move. The Patriot Act was passed nearly unanimously by both houses of congress just a month after the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001. The Patriot Act allows the FBI to search through our telephone records, e-mail accounts, and financial records without a court order. Therefore, the U.S. government could now be secretly spying on all of its citizen's traceable activity without prior permission. The act was supposed to allow the government to independently track anything they thought could be considered a threat to the country and was set to expire in 2005. However when 2005 rolled around, there was a strong push by both houses to extend it. Why would this act that invades every citizen's privacy need to be extended. Is our government still worried about Al-Qaeda? Something tells me there's more to the act than preventing terrorist attacks.
So why does the Patriot Act affect me if I'm not doing anything wrong? It's the uneasiness I get every time I log onto the internet. It's the feeling of paranoia I get every time I place a phone call. It's the anxiety I get every time I leave my house. The feeling of potentially being followed by my own government when I am a law abiding citizen just doesn't sit well with me. I believe there are many other citizens out there who have these same feelings. Those that don't share these uncomfortable feelings are probably unaware of the possible violations of privacy the Patriot Act offers. This is why I believe the government needs to either get completely rid of the Patriot Act or drastically revise it to protect its citizens of governmental abuse.
Good essay.
- replace 'their selves ' with themselves.
- u can also add that privacy is a basic right every citizen should have. The FBI and the goverment should give someone the authority to give the green signal to monitor someone. It should not be left at the discretion of the government agencies. The court is there to uphold the law and give orders. Patriotism does not mean to scare, intrude or violate the privacy of one's own citizens. People dont pay taxes to get their own privacy breached...the masterminds can surely find some other solution which does not violate privacy of innocents.
Good luck and cheers.
Hi! Here are a few more things I found:
We have the freedom of speech, freedom of petition, and the freedom of religion amongst others. However, there is one freedom that the government discreetly denies us ; privacy.
... citizen's traceable activity without prior permission.
Why would this act that invades every citizen's privacy need to be extended?
Something tells me there's more to the act than prevention of terrorist attacks.
It's the anxiety I feel every time I leave my house.
This is why I believe the government needs to either get completely rid of the Patriot Act or drastically revise it to protect its citizens from
governmental abuse.
