I view the world as a place full of interesting places, people and cultures
i wouldn't want to use place twice. Perhaps u can say "i view the world as a planet filled with interesting..." << what you think?
..held stereotypical perceptions which led me to not integrate well..
Perhaps you could put a period after stereotypical perceptions and they say "This did not allow me to integrate well"
As I progressed through my first year, I learned that not integrating well.
huh? can u explain this sentence plzz :)
Seeing what was happening, I opened my mind to others cultural customs and removed perceptions I held, allowing me to better understand each person, become friends with them and gain their respect.
I think "Recognizing this" would sound better than "Seeing what was happening".. Also, some of your sentences are a tad lengthy. i would put a period after "I held" and then say "This allowed me to better understand..."
"No thanks, just the burger please" I replied to a server puzzled by my answer.
How about "No thanks, just the burger please.", i replied to the server who was appalled by my answer. if you like :)
While living in a hostel and finding a place to live
would "searching" be a better word to use instead of "finding"??
I also looked for and found a job
i think you should just say "I found a job".. since that would imply that you had to look for one as well
My current resume was not properly adequately reflecting my educational and professional background allowing me in order to secure me a job.
By recognizing, realizing differences and adapting to them, my co-workers saw my dedication to learning and adapting to a new culture to fit in and function within it .
"adapting" already implies "to fit in and function with it" so i don't think it is necessary to say that again
By In doing so, I was able to gain the trust and respect of my colleagues and we taught each other different strategies to accomplish common goals.
In return for your efforts, you receive an understanding of a different culture and experiences that will dramatically and forever change your views and open your eyes to the world.
I'm going to have a go at rearranging this sentence. tell me if you like it "In return for your efforts, you receive an understanding of a different culture and experience that will open your eyes to the world and dramatically change your views forever"
Other than these, you have a really really good essay here ! I like your expression, organization and use of anecdotes.
All the best ! :)