Hello again everyone. I just finished writing this essay for the common application, which I will have to turn in shortly. Please be harsh with the comments, as I am applying to selective schools. All help is appreciated!
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).
I can recall the days of being a freshman, when my high school was still gigantic, I had plenty of time to do everything I wanted, and I was blissfully ignorant of the troubles applying to college held. When I was a sophomore, my school ...
after edits:
In ninth grade, I was blissfully unaware of the troubles applying to college held. Troubles that I wish had been made aware to me early on, so that I could better prepare myself. The next year, my school created the Peer Support Leaders (PSL.) The purpose of the group is to serve our school through community service and to mentor freshmen about their high school careers. In order to join PSL, one must be a senior and earn a teacher's recommendation; which I was happy to accept. I have lavished the opportunity to mentor freshmen with my experiences and to leave one final mark on Belle Chasse High School through the community service opportunities. PSL, as well as my other extracurriculars, have made me secure in the knowledge that I have made a difference in my school, and given me the skills needed to positively influence anywhere I go.
(149 words)
Thanks again for reading!
Hey Mitchell,
As I have just finished writing this essay myself, I honestly feel that it is the most difficult seeing as it is the shortest. You have done a good job so far. My critique would be that I don't really get a sense as to why you personally enjoyed being a member of PSL other than it helped you get into college. You do talk about it indirectly, but I feel it would be a better essay if you made the first sentence directly mention how much you would have like to have PSLs, and elaborate more on why you enjoyed being one so much.
