Hey guys! Here is my short essay for the common app.
Some background info: I'm the Editor-in-Chief of the school paper; I didn't state this explicitly in the essay because I already mentioned it in my list of extracurricular activities. I also didn't explain what the school paper really is because that is already a given kind of thing. What I wanted to focus on is my passion for writing and why I do write in the first place. Please tell me what you think!! :) Thanks so much!!
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.
My country's national hero, Jose Rizal, once said, "The pen is mightier than the sword" and this I never did doubt. For I know that there is a word to combat every emotion I feel - be it anger, grief, or bliss. Through reading and writing, I am able to find solace I can't find anywhere else. After just a few minutes of skimming through paragraphs, words are able to ignite feelings I never knew were there; words are able to shed light on things I never completely understood. It is precisely all this, the power of words, that motivates me to write for the school paper. Through my writing, I am able to celebrate with the entire school all the good that happens with in our bricks walls. However, I am also able to bring to surface issues that need to be addressed. With every article I write, I try my very best to give my fellow schoolmates that same sense of security and enlightenment that words have provided me. Now, I not only write for myself but for others as well.
Guys! Please read this answer too. It's also an answer to the same common app question. However, this one is about my piano playing. Please tell me which of the two is better and give me any comments that you have. THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE HELP! :D I really appreciate it!
I was 4 when I started playing the piano. However, I am sad to report that although I am Asian, I was nothing like those Korean wizkids that have appeared on Oprah. As a child, I couldn't just read notes like simple English as so many others did. Despite this, I loved playing anyways - it was therapeutic, magical even, to have my emotions transform into a concrete melody. I compensated for my lack in natural talent through constant practice. Eventually, my fingers learned to glide over the keys. At 13, I found that I had an innate musical skill after all - playing by ear. Although I could've just done away with note reading and relied solely on my strange ability to play music by ear, I chose to continue my study in the classical methods of playing. Later on, I learned to combine the traditional practices of piano with the free form methods. This very unusual practice is what led me to grow as a musician. Now, I am not only able to play music but also write my own music as well.
I think both essays are very good. Though the one about your writing is a bit indirect it is obvious you are talking about writing and I think you display your passion well. My only problem (a very tiny one) is the last sentence where you say, "Now, I not only write for myself but for others as well."
It makes me feel as if you decided to write for others over the span of writing the essay, which I'm sure wasn't your intention. I think if you plainly stated, I not only write for myself..." i think it would be fine.
The piano essay is good as well. I think it brings out more of your ability to grow and also demonstrates your commitment to your craft. In the first sentence the number 4 has to spelled out but other than that I think it's very good.
When deciding between the two, I would say that the 1st shows your passion while the 2nd displays growth. I'd go with the first
As a child, I couldn't just read notes, like as if they were simple English, like so many others did.---I just made a small change here.
Excellent sentence here: Despite this, I loved playing anyways - it was therapeutic, magical even, to have my emotions transform into a concrete melody.
Could have could've
Almost every sentence is interesting!!
These seem all about magic... a magic word to combat negative emotions.. the magic of music. It makes me have a strange, surreal feeling while reading them.
Hey, I think most of the brilliant musicians do not read music so well. Being able to read music well is not a major requirement. Check out this as an example of something that requires more than just the ability to read music:
youtube.com/watch?v=obFL7rsN88Q
(You also have to be a little crazy)
