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Why Penn (the creative approach) - give me some last minute support


HiroShima11 4 / 5  
Dec 31, 2008   #1
Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

As my breath solidified on the glass window, I caught a strange glimpse. The entire world before me seemed paralyzed by silence, immersed under a blanket of white gold - snow. It was a bizarre spectacle, one seldom witnessed from my Riepe dorm. The Quad had never appeared so lifeless and stale, not a soul in sight. During my first three months, I realized the acclaimed diversity at Penn had truly lived up to its name. I had befriended students from a multitude of cultures and backgrounds right there, on the greens of the Quad. The emptiness was rare. Suddenly, I gazed at the clock, only to notice that the sun had risen 10 minutes earlier. This is why I had loved Penn. Its excitement and charisma demanded heavy snowfall and abnormal wake up times to be contained. Either that, or exams were looming - it was December!

With a few hours to spare till class, I braved the fierce, frigid and lip-parching cold - thanks to the wind chill - and journeyed to the Pottruck Center. It housed every possible facility an avid athlete like me could dream of. As I marched in solitude, it occurred to me that I had never walked across campus alone. At Penn, there was always a companion: students, friends and professors with common destinations and each day I was introduced to new and intelligent faces. However, this seclusion was necessary for when I breathed I experienced the thickness of the air - it possessed so much history. I had always dreamed of attending an institution with a rich heritage and deep roots. With a 250 year legacy of the brightest students, professors, intellectuals and leaders that have walked the Earth, Penn was exactly what I was looking for. Observing the historic castle-like architecture sheltered by the presence of gargoyles all around me, I knew this was it.

Having attempted to perfect the keep-ups in soccer and chisel the abs, I ventured, once again, through the untouched blanket towards the McNeil building for Professor Ethier's Economics 1 lecture. The intellectual dexterity within this building - home to the world's most knowledgeable and insightful individuals in the field of Economics - continued to mesmerize me. The prospect of my mind being stimulated by their aptitude still felt surreal, a dream that seemed to last a lifetime, a dream that Penn made reality. Penn's stature as a top tier Economics institution was not an accident and neither was my presence there as a student.

At a tender age of 18, there lay no concrete path illuminated by the light of destiny. Here I was, destined to create my own path. I continued to develop new interests and curiosity beyond Economics that could be leveraged in other courses, schools and disciplines. A new-found love for Criminology or Cognitive Science or the fiercely competitive world of business could all be pursued here. The academic opportunities were limitless at Penn, underpinned by a distinguished faculty, numerous research facilities and a myriad of resources. It had everything that my potential craved.

After yet another empowering lecture, it was time for lunch. Should I grab some fast food or indulge in a gourmet escapade - no, we were in a recession. I decided to settle for what this city was best known for - the Philly Cheesesteak. Never had I relied on a single delicacy to this extent; everything about it was perfect. In three months, I even managed to master the "Philadelphia lean", leaning forward to take a bite to prevent any juices from staining my clothes. With my roots in Toronto, I appreciated the urban life of Philadelphia but my desire for the quintessential college experience left me in a dilemma. Penn, once again, was the answer. When I was on campus, I had been encapsulated by its serene beauty and its seclusion from the city. But in a matter of minutes, I could escape this peaceful realm and quench the thirst of my urban upbringing. Tritely speaking, it offered the best of both worlds.

Before I could hibernate in the library for the rest of the week for exam preparation, I was due to attend the weekly executive meeting of the Student Activity Council (SAC). On the way there, I reminisced my time as the Vice President of my high school SAC and as Minister of Corporate Affairs in the Peel Student Presidents' Council (PSPC). The skills I had acquired during those callow days were now being honed and cultivated through Penn's SAC and had prepared me well for the contribution I hoped to make in the Penn community. This student body had opened my eyes to the abundance of clubs and activities Penn had to offer. I became a member of quite a few of them, but only after much agony as I was spoilt for choice.

We had finally scoured through all the fund requests and the meeting was adjourned. I trudged once more through the snow - the seamless blanket now wrinkled by Penn footsteps - towards the Van Pelt-Dietrich Library. As I began studying, I eagerly awaited the study break back at my Riepe dorm.

So, why Penn? Because the above is not a far-fetched, unachievable dream. It is an aspiration that I know I can pursue, and is within my grasp. I've got what it takes to live up to the high standards Penn sets for it students. Its renowned faculty will inspire me, challenge me and prepare me for the real world into which I will one day set out boldly and confidently. I am excited to learn from the diverse student community, with perspectives very different from mine. I want to be a part of Penn's history and desire to stroll along the greens of the Quad. My years in Penn will help forge bonds, relationships and experiences which will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Why Penn? Because Penn has for me, in the words of Benjamin Franklin, "A place for everything, with everything in its place."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 1, 2009   #2
Oh, I just think that the repetition of "Why Penn?" does not work the second time in this last paragraph:

Why Penn? Because Penn has for me, in the words of Benjamin Franklin...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 3, 2009   #3
The general approach is great! Just eliminate all that is unnecessary and make every sentence count. That is how to improve this one.


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