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People learn more by watching TV - the news updates incessantly feeds information to its watchers


kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 19, 2015   #1
People learn more by watching television than by reading books. Agree or disagree?

It is true how books encourage creativity and intelligence due to the various genres books offer to its readers. However, people learn more by watching television because the television provides prominent colorful visuals and the news updates incessantly feeds information to its watchers.

It is obvious that the television has a great advantage over books in teaching by its colorful illustrations. With illustrations, learners will process the information in their minds faster and the data will be more memorable due to the striking pictures they see. While as an author of a book will have to be incredibly creative to impress the readers with their words and text. With its colorful visuals, televisions definitely have the upper hand of educating the audience. The famous Discovery Channel is a prime example of a television show that educates its audience quickly and remarkably. The show, with its descriptive narration and high quality pictures, can portray the history of the Civil War within an hour while as it would take a six hours to research everything by books. Therefore, televisions can teach its audience better and more efficiently than books since they lack the distinctive colors and visuals televisions have.

In addition to the television's prominent feature of visuals, televisions also have the news channel which feeds the audience with recent global events within every 12 hours. This instant service is unparalleled to the lagging speed of publishing books. In order to publish a book, one must write at least 100 pages, cite all sources used for research, edit any mistakes or errors, and finally have a company promote it on the bookshelf. This cycle alone takes more than a month or even a year which by then, the news would have broadcasted over 150 news reports. News channels like the BBC updates their news almost instantaneously, full of verified facts and interesting events. The conspicuous advantage to quickly update watchers with new information cannot be simulated with books. Therefore, people would absolutely learn more by watching television.

In conclusion, televisions have the supremacy in educating their audiences over books due to their colorful visuals and immediate updates in news. (360)

Any comments will be appreciated greatly! Thanks!
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 19, 2015   #2
I would say that your vocabulary and grammar are reasonably good. However, I recognized some issues I pointed them out below. Hope you find my comments useful

In conclusion, televisions have the supremacy in educating their audiences over books due to their colorful visuals and immediate updates in news.

Cheers,
Ahmad
OP kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 19, 2015   #3
Hello Mr. Zafari, thank you for your evaluation! I tend to have a problem with the hook, could you give me some tips on how to create a good and simple hook? A TOEFL essay is only 30 minutes... I would want to avoid spending a lot of time pondering over the hook.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 19, 2015   #4
how to create a good and simple hook? A TOEFL essay is only 30 minutes... I would want to avoid spending a lot of time pondering over the hook.

an essay must be opened with a hook. The easiest way for writing a motivator is to give the reader some general information. For example talking about history or things that needs to happen for make something popular or obsolescent in the society.

Hope this helps.
OP kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 19, 2015   #5
Hmm... Would this be a reasonable hook for this essay?

Most parents ironically restrain children from watching television despite the fact people learn more by watching television compared to reading books.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 19, 2015   #6
Most parents ironically restrain children from watching television despite the fact people learn more by watching television compared to reading books.

you should not come to a conclusion through a hook. For example you could say "For years people were attached to imaginary characters created by writers. However,they always had a dream to watch those characters in a more realistic way than their imaginations. By the invention of TV this dream came true. However, today TV has changed into an inseparable part of our daily lives, so we receive loads of information from various TV programs, ranging from entertaining shows to news. In the light of this fact, some people think that the contemperary age is the TV era and books cannot play roles in the education of individuals as effectively as they could in the past. I utterly agree with this opinion due to XXX and YY reasons"
OP kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 20, 2015   #7
Wow... I am stunned and impressed Mr. Zafari... That was an amazing introduction... Thank you so much for providing such a neat example. I'll practice more and continue updating my essays for evaluation. I'm counting on you! Thanks again!
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 20, 2015   #8
By the way, my name is Ahmad, so please keep it informal and feel free call me Ahmad. I'm an English learner too. So, what I say cannot be considered as expertly views :)


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