Thank you so much for giving me feedback, I truly appreciate it! :)
Here is the prompt:Pepperdine's scholarly community equips students with a liberal arts education anchored in Christian values. Our commitment to integrating faith and learning challenges our students to understand that the gift of knowledge ultimately calls for a life of service. With this commitment in mind, please respond: Tell us how the integration of faith and learning can prepare you for a life of service, and discuss the impact service-learning can have on the renewing of your mind, spirit, and community. (500 words or less)
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Next to John 3:16, Philippians 4:13 may just be the most universally recognized Bible verse. Nevertheless, it remains to be my favorite among the myriad of God's glorious Scripture.
Philippians 4:13 can be applied to every aspect of my life: I whispered Christ's adage as I stood nervously at the starting line of my first half-marathon; I calmed my nerves with the verse as I presided over a crowd of 110 at my first National Honor Society meeting. And eight years before, I joyfully recited Philippians 4:13 for the first time in my fourth grade class.
Although the coupling of faith and knowledge was instilled in me at a young age, my eyes did not truly appreciate their beauty until Philippians 4:13. Those ten simple words, strung together so effortlessly, ignited a passion for language and a new-found relationship with Christ. Writing became an outlet for expression, adjectives vivified my life, and knowledge excited me. But as my wisdom began to amass, I came to the realization that this God-given blessing would be purposeless if not put to proper use.
"What is my purpose?"
For a moment, these four, daunting words seemed to cloud the awe-inspiring ten engraved in my heart. I voraciously threw myself into my research on careers, lifestyles, cultures - and yet, my question was left unanswered. Did I want to be a doctor? A lawyer? A journalist?
In this time of trial and tribulation, I grew up. I closed my books and entered a classroom called "Life." There, my lessons consisted of learning to love, learning to live, learning to accept mistakes, and learning to have faith. My intelligence was challenged, my leadership abilities were doubted, but my strength never faltered; after all, I had Christ's power within me.
With my education and life lessons, I matured from a curious child into an ambitious adult. As I experienced the world through volunteer work, travel, and everyday life, I began to see that a single set purpose did not exist, but rather an ongoing, life-long aspiration. It was not my purpose to selfishly succeed, but our purpose as humanity to thrive together in love.
The teachings I learned in the classroom and beyond its walls do not rival to that of my Lord's. But, the beneficial integration of education with my faith will ultimately bring me to a life of purpose - a life of service - for Christ, for others, for myself, and for my community. I understand that without God's favor, pursuing any dream would be futile and hopeless; I also realize that without an enthusiasm for learning, a substantial future could not exist.
Seven years ago, I fell in love with learning - and with Christ. Today, I confidently go in the direction of the Lord's will. Equipped with the His armor, the knowledge within me, and Philippians 14:3, my purpose to serve will be met with the highest honor. My words, words, words are all for Him.
Madeline I enjoyed reading your essay. I do not however think that you answered the prompt adequately. You are asked to do two things:
1. Tell HOW the integration of faith and learning can prepare you for a life of service, and
2. Discuss the impact service-learning can have on the renewing of your mind, spirit and community.
What you do is give a fantastic example of how you were successfull in your clothing drive, and you beautifully link it with Phil 4:13 (not 14:3 :) ),but you do not fully tell us what exactly you learned from it.
I think you could somehow merge your clothing drive in the past with your expectations for the future so you can sufficiently cover the second requirement about how faith and learning will prepare you for a life of service.
And maybe you should add a thing or two about scholarly work, because Pepperdine is a liberal arts school after all...
One last thing:
Next to John 3:16, Philippians 4:13 may just be the most recognized (albeit overused)might not be so necessary. Bible verse. Nevertheless, it remains to be my favorite among the vast myriad of God's beautiful prose I am not sure if we can technically refer to the Bible as "prose", but I can't think of a replacement either...
Overall, you have a compelling essay - I was fully engaged every step of the way. And I love the fluorish with which you conclude.
Good luck. I pray you get in !!!
I liked your essay as well but I agree with Princess, the prompt asked how pepperdine'sintegration of faith would would prepare you but instead you explain an instance in which you needed God's strength and how it has helped you through. Your a good writer but read the prompt again because the question is straight forward but your answer is irrelevant. Good luck though, I also applied here and I admit it was one of the hardest essay prompts I had!
Thank you so much for the feedback!
For some odd reason, I am just not understanding that prompt.
Caisan, do you think you can help me out?
So, I think what you're saying Princess is that I answered the first part but not the second?
Changed a couple things.
This is the most updated version, and hopefully the last!
hey I really liked your essay its improved alot! I think you really id well excep at the end you wrote philippians 14:3 instead of 4:13. : )
For a moment, these four, daunting words seemed to cloud the awe-inspiring ten words that were so engraved in my heart. ---that makes it clearer...
I voraciously threw myself into my research on careers, lifestyles, cultures - and yet, my question was left unanswered. Did I want to be a doctor? A lawyer? A journalist?---- perhaps this is too simple. I think you should present it as though, even back then, you had a sense of whether you wanted to be involved with social science or medical science or politics. Name three alternatives within the same field, if you want to, but I think you should write this essay to focus in a particular direction.
I like your theme, and I know it is sort of contrary to your theme to get specific about your intended profession, but how about supplementing this discussion with some words about your deep commitment to learning in a particular discipline? That way, the essay will be very substantial and not so abstract. As it is now, it expresses something very meaningful, but there is still room to write about specific plans involving a field you are interested in. :-)
