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Perfect Score- (talent, quality) UC PROMPT 2


montse93 2 / 3  
Nov 23, 2010   #1
prompt: tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The science of argumentation has always produced an adrenaline rush inside me. Making others comprehend and coincide with my position of a debate is something I want to continue doing for the rest of my life. Growing up I was constantly asked the same question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I continued to respond with the same answer, "A lawyer." I had the naive idea that the life of an attorney was like the one portrayed in television. Thanks to the Mock Trial program I realized how childish my view toward attorneys was.

Mock Trial gave me opportunity to face-off against different schools' team to prosecute or defend a party in the court of law; an activity that helped me understand the more realistic life of an attorney. This program taught me how to study the facts of any given event and understand the various angles any situation in order comprehend why others might disagree with my opinion. Tasks such as preparing for a trial, defending a client, or prosecuting a criminal are intellectually challenging obstacles that I love solving; a passion that was ignited in Mock Trial.

The Mock Trial program shaped me into the efficient and dedicated worker I am. Often, I willingly gave up my holiday social time to work with my teammates in order to perfect my closing argument or my pre-trial motion. Being the first one in the history of my schools' teams to achieve a perfect score on the closing argument is one of my greatest accomplishments. It was what caused me to realize that I have the potential to succeed the evolution of our legal system. Whether in a debate or casual conversation, I am able to exercise my new perspective to the exchange thanks to my newfound ability. Mock Trial challenged to think in ways that school courses did not.
linmark 2 / 328 7  
Nov 30, 2010   #2
Is the highlight of your essay is your perfect score in the Mock Trial program? (answers the prompt: personal accomplishment that is important to you.) While you adequately cover why this makes you proud, only one sentence touched upon how this relates to the person you are:

"I had the naive idea that the life of an attorney was like the one portrayed in television."
Aside from winning the argument, why do you want to be a lawyer? What makes this personally meaningful to you? (besides adrenaline rush, liking lawyer characters portrayed in TV and "Tasks such as preparing for a trial, defending a client, or prosecuting a criminal are intellectually challenging obstacles that I love solving")

Some wording questions:

Making others comprehend and coincide AGREE or SUPPORT? with my position of a debate is something I want to continue doing for the rest of my life.

It was what caused me to realize that I have the potential to succeed the evolution of our legal system.

DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY POTENTIAL TO SUCCEED THE EVOLUTION of the legal system.
danica2995 - / 4  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
'Getting a perfect GPA or SAT score isn't necessary' - topic for my common app essay?

Would it sound wrong to admission officers if I wrote my essay about how getting a perfect GPA or SAT score isn't necessarily the only factor to success (Einstein failed his classes, Bill Gates dropped out, etc)? And basically how many students don't spend enough time on other aspects such as social skills and extracurricular, just because they spend their entire lives studying for tests?

Idk.. What do you think about this topic? Would I be giving a wrong impression to admission officers?
ticklelisaelmo 8 / 42 3  
Dec 31, 2012   #4
Honestly, i wouldn't talk about that. You're not really revealing yourself when you talk about others. Talk about yourself instead of critiquing others. Use a topic that can give a sense of who you are as an individual.
danica2995 - / 4  
Dec 31, 2012   #5
The thing is I have a bit of low SAT scores and was trying to actually point out how I think grades aren't everything... if that would kind of make up for the low SAT ? :(


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