Is the highlight of your essay is your perfect score in the Mock Trial program? (answers the prompt: personal accomplishment that is important to you.) While you adequately cover why this makes you proud, only one sentence touched upon how this relates to the person you are:
"
I had the naive idea that the life of an attorney was like the one portrayed in television."
Aside from winning the argument, why do you want to be a lawyer? What makes this personally meaningful to you? (besides adrenaline rush, liking lawyer characters portrayed in TV and
"Tasks such as preparing for a trial, defending a client, or prosecuting a criminal are intellectually challenging obstacles that I love solving")
Some wording questions:
Making others comprehend and coincide AGREE or SUPPORT? with my position of a debate is something I want to continue doing for the rest of my life.
It was what caused me to realize that I have the potential to succeed the evolution of our legal system.
DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY POTENTIAL TO SUCCEED THE EVOLUTION of the legal system.