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It's perfect union between my passions of biology and chemistry, and my passion for helping others


Ruxi 3 / 5 1  
Dec 23, 2014   #1
I would appreciate any and all feedback :) Do you feel I am answering the questions completely? Are any of my sentences awkward/unclear?

1. Most high school seniors are unsure about eventual career choices. What experiences have led you to consider medicine as your future profession? Please describe specifically why you have chosen to apply to the Program in Liberal Medical Education in pursuit of your career in medicine. Also, be sure to indicate your rationale on how the PLME is a "good fit" for your personal, academic, and future professional goals. (Please limit your response to this question to 500 words.)

I remember when I was only 5 years old, I would hear an ambulance rush past my house, and I would tell my parents "One day, that's going to be my ambulance". I'm not sure what initially sparked my interest in medicine but all I know is that I've always yearned to be a doctor. Medicine is the perfect union between my passions of biology and chemistry, and my passion for helping others and leaving a positive impact on the world.

My interest in medicine was reaffirmed when I was given the opportunity to study human anatomy at Queen's University. I was in complete awe at the elegance, intricacy and genius of the human body's design. Additionally, I had the opportunity to observe cadavers and determine their cause of death. I had initial hesitations pertaining to the cadavers having never seen a deceased human being before. Although once I realized what a rare and amazing opportunity was made available to me, to study a human body in such close proximity, the cadavers promptly became much less daunting and much more interesting. I had nothing but the utmost respect for the people who donated their bodies to further the education of countless students. Since my experience at Queen's University, my desire to become a doctor has only been growing stronger. In fact, every doctor I have had the pleasure of meeting has inspired me to devote my life to saving other's lives with patience, empathy, and acceptance.

The PLME itself is an excellent fit for my academic and future professional goals because I am always looking for a new challenge. The PLME would allow me to pursue my bountiful passions as an undergrad in order to become an active learner, while also maintaining my aspiration of becoming a doctor. There is so much to learn, and I feel that limiting myself to studying science in the hopes of attending medical school while disregarding the arts would be detriment to my education. As for my personal goals, I desire to look back on my life and feel satisfied that I made a positive impact within the world. With a world population greater than seven billion, there is so much potential to impact the world for good. That is why with my life, I would like to deliver hope to families, and fight against grim odds to allow people to return to living their lives in the hopes that my positive impact upon their life will inspire them to positively impact others.

The PLME program is an exceptional opportunity to evolve into a mature, well-rounded and superlative doctor. It would be an honour to be considered for acceptance into such a prestigious program. Should I be accepted, I vow to work hard every day to make sure to prosper after being afforded an unparalleled opportunity to fulfill my personal, academic and professional goals.

2. MOD comment:One essay at one time please

breeskness 2 / 11 2  
Dec 23, 2014   #2
Firstly, i really like that you got straight into the nitty gritty - dead bodies, I find this is well written, straight forwarded and easy to read,

I remember when I was only 5 years old, I would hear an ambulance rush past my house, and I would tell my parents "One day, that's going to be my ambulance". I'm not sure what initially sparked my interest in medicine but all I know is that I've always yearned to be a doctor. Medicine is the perfect union between my passions of biology and chemistry, and my passion for helping others and leaving a positive impact on the world.

maybe try

I remember when I was only 5 years old, hearing an ambulance rush past my house, I would tell my parents "One day, that's going to be my ambulance". I'm not sure what initially sparked my interest in medicine, all I know is that I've always yearned to be a doctor. Medicine encompasses my academic passions, biology and chemistry, alongside my passion for helping others and leaving a positive impact on the world.

I was in complete awe at the elegance, intricacy and genius of the human body's design

?
The awe inspiring elegance, intricacy and genius in the human body's design captivated me.

My interest in medicine was reaffirmed when I was given the opportunity to study human anatomy at Queen's University. I was in complete awe at the elegance, intricacy and genius of the human body's design. Additionally, I had the opportunity to observe cadavers and determine their cause of death. I had initial hesitations pertaining to the cadavers having never seen a deceased human being before. AlthoughHowever once I realized what a rare and amazing opportunity was made available to me, to study a human body in such close proximity, the cadavers promptly became much less daunting and much more interesting.

Additionally, I had the opportunity to observe cadavers and determine their cause of death, which initially caused hesitations pertaining to the fact I had never seen a deceased human being in the flesh.

I hadhave nothing but the utmost respect for the people who donated their bodies to further the education of countless students.

The PLME itself is an excellent fit for my academic and future professional goals because I am always looking for a new challenge .

not only satisfying my constant thrive for challenge, but ( maybe add another point?)

The PLME would allow me to pursue mybountiful passions as an undergrad in order to become an active learner, while also maintaining my aspiration of becoming a doctor.

Maybe instead of stating that yo have passions, state a few or allude to them !

Otherwise this is really we'll written ! :)


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