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(Performance career / Academic interests / Jazz music) - NYU ESSAYS

mirandax3 1 / -  
Jan 1, 2012   #1
Please read my essays and tell me what you think!

1)Why NYU?

The day I realized I wanted to pursue a performance career, I looked for schools that could take my performance studies further. Then, my uncle told me to look up NYU Tisch School of the Arts. I may have been only fourteen when I first came across NYU, but I was immediately amazed and fascinated by the programs offered through Tisch School of the Arts. NYU has everything I could want in a university and more. From its location, to its opportunities for myself as a student, being accepted into NYU would endow me with success in my time as a student, to beyond graduation.First, NYU has some of the most astonishing programs a college could offer. Namely, the performing arts programs through NYU are some of the best the world has ever seen. Tisch School of the Arts has such a fantastic program; why would I not want to attend this school? If I were to attend Tisch, studying musical theatre would grant me with the advanced training that I need to pursue a performance career in my post-graduation years.Second, NYU is located in nowhere other than my most admired place: New York City. In hopes of becoming performing arts major, why wouldn't I want to go to college in one of the entertainment capitals of the world? Being located in New York City, NYU offers me opportunities to attend various auditions while I'm still a student. All in all, NYU is a school I'm considering to attend due to its excellence in its programs, and its location to provide me with opportunities as a student.

2)Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

It is evident that NYU has various areas of academic interest. Of the many academic programs offered at this school, I am most interested in the area of musical theatre. Musical theatre is my true passion, and I wish to explore it through Tisch School of the Arts. By attending Tisch, I could learn more about myself as a performer, and will be able to expand my performance horizon as well as my talents. Also, attending Tisch would allow me to be located in an epicenter for auditions and performing opportunities. There are activities that I partake in and have had experiences that have lead musical theatre to become my area of academic interest. First, I had my first experience with live musical theatre when I was fourteen. My mother took me to see Wicked on Broadway, and I didn't realize how much it would affect my life. During the final scene, I was overwhelmed with catharsis, and then I had an almost out of body experience. I saw myself on the stage, and realized what my passion was, and what I wanted to pursue in my life. Since then, I have been one-hundred percent dedicated to the drama program at my high school. My involvement in the drama program at my high school also leads me to choosing musical theatre as my point of interest at NYU. Every time I perform in a play, musical, competition, etc. it only gives me that feeling that I got when I saw Wicked on Broadway. When I'm performing, I feel like I could do it over and over again and would never become tired of it.

3) What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

It was a time of jazz music, bobbed hair, prohibition, and dancing the Charleston. What is it? It's no other time than the 1920s. This era was a decade of celebration. World War I was over, and everyone wanted to join the party. Finally, women could also celebrate. After gaining the right to vote in 1919, women felt they could do almost anything a man could. Women also became "modernized" with fringed skirts and bobbed hair. The government went back into a laissez-faire method of capitalism, and business has free reign. Everyone was buying the new, modern technologies such as the Ford Model T off of credit, regardless of whether they had the money to pay back. With all of this freedom the people had, things can go haywire. The people of the 1920s abused their freedom, and launched the United States into the Great Depression. It intrigues me that when one is given too much freedom, the situation can become unpleasant. This is significant to me because I often see the same situation within my peers. I'll see someone obtain a new car, credit card, or have no curfew, and like the people of the 1920s, and he'll abuse his freedom. Whether it's through maxing out a credit card, getting into an accident, or causing agitation with prohibited activities. Nonetheless, it seems that giving someone too much freedom causes consequences, and it seems that limits are necessary for everyone.
jadore_lamode68 6 / 37  
Jan 1, 2012   #2
Your responses, while the content is great, run the risks of being conventional.

In your first response you mentioned alot how "NYU has great programs" but failed to mention WHAT about them attracts you? A certain professor, class, opportunity, ect

The second is similar how you like the programs...WHICH ones?!?1 The broadway tidbit is really interesting. If I were you, I'd use that as your intro then talk about everything else. In my opinion it could be a great attention getter.

Overall you need to vamp up your word choice and vocabulary. Your transitions could be stronger - using "firstly, secondly, ect" is elementary.

You have something great here! Just use that right click, thesaurus, I know its easy to abuse but can be the difference between a good essay and a great essay.

Develop your ideas and personalize your claims and your essay will be awesome.

I'm applying to NYU to and I really hope I'll see you in the fall.
Good luck!!! :D

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