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Dec 30, 2012   #1
Thank you for reading it. Constructive criticism please! I know i have to work alot in this essay and your help is greatly appreciated!

Human life without a sense of beautiful and arts would be a mixture of rational structures, logic and strict norms of conduct. Every individual has some occupation which brings happiness and satisfaction.

I learned to read with play scripts and started performing since kinder. For me, it is not only art, but a hobby and a therapy,.as it allows me to forget about my world and immerse into someone else's life. In dance, moves generate powerful emotions and performing allows me to feel how this role would live, speak, act, which opens new horizons of understanding, enhancing my empathy.

I love to explore different facets of this art. Being in the dance team, a flamenco student, a folklore school competitor, an actress in plays and musicals and helper on Direction of a School play and a One Act play, have provided me enriching experiences.

Incredible memories from school were when I performed as Aladin in Aladin and a victory at the Talent Show when my group performed a silent sketch from Chaplin's live. I remember every detail of the process - preparations, searching for costumes, the performance itself, happy faces of the team's members.

This passion encourages my self-discipline and diligence, gives me a new vision, social skills and erudition. Stage is something that opens unlimited possibilities and found out my genuine emotions and feelings.

Mar 20, 2017   #2
Lara, did you write this as a college application essay? Or did you write this just in general as a form of practice? Your opening statement doesn't tell me what to expect in the body of the discussion. Always use the opening statement to establish the discussion points of the essay. Outline the topic of the essay, the purpose of the discussion, and what you hope to establish by discussing these points. Your work is pretty good, but I am lost as to the point of the work that you did. There is no point to your narrative. What am I supposed to feel, understand, or develop and opinion about through the message of your essay? Clarifying the points I indicated earlier will result in a strengthening of your presentation. I know this is about performing arts, but what is the point in relation to you?