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With me, the period of revising for master of law examination is the most stressful


thanhhuyen 1 / -  
Dec 3, 2012   #1
I write this text about the most stressful time in my life.
Please correct it for me! Thank you for helping!

Most of people have stressful period in their whole life. With me, the period of revising for master of law examination is the most stressful time in my life.

There was lots of things to prepare for the exam but I didn't have much enough time to do everything. It was not easy to learn all of necessary knowledge of Marxist - Leninist philosophy by heart. Moreover, I also need to read a lot of different textbooks to understand the provisions of the Commercial law. I felt really stress and tired when I tried to remember so many things for a while. Besides that, because I am not good at listening and speaking English, so I was very hard to learn two these English skills.

Futhermore, when I was revising for the exam, my uncle commended some job opportunities to me and suggested that I could go to work and get Master of Law Degree later. My mother agreed with my uncle and she wanted me to go to work to learn from experiences but my father didn't agree. My parents argued that matter many times and required me to choice inmediately. It made me feel so stressful and I couln't concentrate on revising. As a result, although the exam date was approaching, I hadn't still finished revising all of necessary knowledge for the exam. Therefore, I must have stayed up late to study.

Finally, with all my efforts, I passed the entrance examination and continue studying to get Master of Law Degree. May be I never forget the most stressful time in my life.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 5, 2012   #2
There waswere lots of things to prepare for the exam but I didn't have much enough time to do everything.

I was under severe study pressure; I had so much to study in a limited time period.

It was not easy to learn all of necessary knowledge of Marxist - Leninist philosophy by heart.

It was a hard task to memorize everything about Marxist- Leninist philosophy by heart.

I felt really stressed and tired when I tried to remember so many things for a while.

This sentence sounds as if you are repeating the same idea. You told this already... Better do away with this : )

Besides that, because I am not good at listening and speaking English, so I was very hard to learn two these English skills.

In addition, I had to make a great effort to improve my English listening and speaking, the areas I need improvement.
hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Dec 5, 2012   #3
Hi Huyen,

I was a bit confused when reading your essay. Can you please tell me what style of essay is yours? Academic or general or casual? Honestly to say, it is more like a conversation than an essay. If you were practicing writing for IELTS academic exam, for example, I will adjust your sentences in accordance with Academic style as follow.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 5, 2012   #4
Most of people have a very stressful period in their wholeat some point in their life. WithFor me, the period of revising for the master of law examination was the most stressful time in my life.

There was lots of things to prepare for the exam but I didn't have much enough time to do everything.

Maybe say it like this: "The preparation for the exam included a heavy workload, and I struggled to find enough time to study."

Moreover, I also needed to read a lot of different textbooks to understand the provisions of the Commercial law.

I felt really stressed and tired when I tried to remember so many things for a while.retain loads of information for a long period of time.

Besides that, because I am not goodfast at listening to and speaking English, so it was very hard to learn two these English skills.
ivyleague 3 / 7 1  
Dec 8, 2012   #5
There's a lot of Moreover, Finally, Therefores, etc. that are not needed. You can take out most of these for a more concise essay.
garggaurav1995 - / 2  
Dec 17, 2012   #6
Jennyflower81,
I have noticed your comments are quite helpful. Could you please review my essay as well.

essayforum.com/undergraduate-essays-2/cornell-computer-engineering-und ergraduate-essay-please-help-45655/

Thanks a lot!

As for thanhhuyen,
I like your work. Its something new. I feel you should just try to improve on it.


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