Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


"The Perks of Being a Teenage Aunt" Common App Essay on person who has influenced me


arias11 1 / -  
Dec 5, 2010   #1
Write an essay about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you?

The Perks of Being a Teenage Aunt
Freshman year I received the news that I was going to be an aunt. I was bouncing off the walls with excitement. The excitement did not last too long as I soon realized that I had no clue how to be an aunt. My observations led me to believe that aunts existed to love and take care of the baby, to be more or less a second mother. But I was just a teenager. I did not know how to care for anyone; instead I needed others to care for me. And the love issue, that was complicated, how was I supposed to develop unconditional love for a baby?

The nine months flew by and in November of sophomore year I was the aunt of a six-pound, blonde, blue-eyed boy named Sergio, but I was still clueless. The first time I saw him he was three hours old. Let me tell you, he was not pretty. He was swollen, pink, and just plain weird looking. Too bad I was the only one that found him ugly; everyone else was saying he was beautiful. But then I was given the privilege to carry him. As I was cradling him in my arms my lips began to form a smile and at that moment he was beautiful. I loved him.

Two days later he was out of the hospital and that was when my official duties as an aunt began. My first task began with a certain malodorous stench coming from little Sergio. Never had I imagined that I would be changing diapers as a teenager. The situation was messy, there was poop everywhere and I had no clue how to clean a boy's privates. Luckily, my mother came and rescued me from disaster. The experience was not enjoyable but for some reason I forgot I had poop in my hands and all I wanted was for the baby to feel comfortable once again.

The months passed and every little new thing he did was mesmerizing. When he began to crawl, I crawled right next to him. When he began to walk, I held his hand. With him I became a teacher and a student. From me he learned how to speak, walk, and play. From him I learned how to be patient, responsible, and caring.

I still remember the first time he called me "tia" the Spanish word for aunt, the first hug he gave me, the first time he told me I love you. I had tears in my eyes. I never expected that by becoming an aunt I would become a woman. His entrance into my world made me care more for others, it made me aware that there is more to life than what I had in mind.
Juniper_Jumper 5 / 39  
Dec 5, 2010   #2
The Perks of Being a Teenage Aunt

What about it? Tell us something about who you are, your personality. Tell us who you are, don't leave us guessing. What do these experiences say about you? More than showing us something, you have to tell us what to think. We're lazy people. Tell us what you want us to think.

I get the message about it being a coming of age story, about maturity, but please tell us more about the past and future to accentuate this change. the past helps us contrast to the experience you're describing here. the future, gives us an idea about your potential and what you plan on doing in the future.

Other than that, everywhere I have reword, please reword it. It's far too colloquial. You want to create a comfortably semi-formal environment for adcoms, but by no means are these your best friends who you're like hayy girlfrienddddd. So use everyday terms, but talk like you're talking to an adult, think of it like your parents' friend. But also NEVER use "big" words. save SAT words, for the SATs.


Home / Undergraduate / "The Perks of Being a Teenage Aunt" Common App Essay on person who has influenced me
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳