Topic: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I am preparing myself for a personal statement for the University of California application.
Here is what I wrote so far and need helping with how to end this:
Many people in this world are suffering from permanent disabilities. This is how my life became- I was born perfect, but at the age of 4 I lost my hearing. A few months later I was ordered by my doctor to wear a pair of hearing aids, something that did not seem very appealing to me. When I was 5 years of age, I wore hearing aids every day to school and did not feel very happy.
During the first year of elementary school I had trouble with communication even with the help of hearing aids. I hated wearing them and always felt isolated. On the second year of elementary school, my doctor introduced me to a wireless device that works together with hearing aids, a receiver. The receiver helped me improve a lot with communication because I was able to hear every word spoken to the microphone. It was not until then that I began to appreciate the world of technology. The looks of hearing aids did not bother me anymore, but technology bothered me a lot. I began gaining interest in technology and how it works. I even performed a few simple projects involving electricity.
When I got to high school, I chose my dream career of electrical engineering with the thought of improving hearing aids.
How do you think this statement answers the question?
A few notes:
My doctor was impressed with my communication skills
My teachers were happy about me
Engineering courses at high school involved communicating a lot.