Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


I want to be a person without limits. I want to be able to say "Oh yeah! I know how to do that!"


nick17 1 / -  
Dec 9, 2014   #1
Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

In my life, I want to be a person without limits. I want to be able to say "Oh yeah! I know how to do that!" or "I learned that back when I was in college!" But, along with this I want to be able to broaden my scope not only throughout my college career but after graduation as well.

I feel as if Syracuse University can help me achieve this goal for many reasons. The list of connections and alumni that this school offers is absolutely remarkable and ongoing. I think that pursuing the Los Angeles Program in either my junior or senior year at Syracuse will lead me to meet famous people in the industry and provide me with an experience like no other. Most people do not start their career until they are there themselves but I know that at Syracuse University I will start from the second I walk into my first class of my freshman year.
Jesussaves 1 / 3  
Dec 10, 2014   #2
Really good! I especially like the concluding sentence. A couple things though -

"But, along with this I want to be able to broaden my scope not only throughout my college career but after graduation as well."

I would split it up into two sentences - it feels a bit too long.

Also I would say "I believe that Syracuse University..." instead of saying "I feel as if..." It sounds a lot more decisive that way.

Good luck!


Home / Undergraduate / I want to be a person without limits. I want to be able to say "Oh yeah! I know how to do that!"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳