Hey, guys. Here are two of the bazillion essays that Brown requires. Would love to get feedback on both, or either and proof-reading if possible. I promise to help back what whatever essays you need help with. Thanks in advance!
-Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated? (300 character limit)
Coming from a country whose economy is petroleum-based, I want to employ my education in engineering to refine that wealth and contribute to my country's development, specifically, in the technological industry. I want to enrich my country's resources and make it less dependent on oil.
-A distinctive feature of the Brown Curriculum is the opportunity to be the architect of your education. Why does this academic environment appeal to you? (700 character limit)
It can be tempting to lose oneself in the freedom of choice for which Brown's curriculum is famous. However, this quality is ideal for me since I have a main interest in mind.
With engineering as my main area of interest, I plan to pick a course selection that is mainly focused in science and mathematics. I am a fan of prose and poetry, and the interdisciplinary aspect of the curriculum will quench that thirst and feed my intellectual curiosity.
The atmosphere that is accompanied by Brown's style of academics forces the students to stimulate each other intellectually.
The flexibility of academics, brilliant students and hands-on opportunities I seek are unique to Brown.
-We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you. (1000 character limit)
^ I don't fully understand this prompt. Is it like the "describe the world you come from" questions from other supps or is it more general?
Your first two essay seems seems pretty good. On the first one, I did get confused by "refine that wealth" and "...make it less dependent on oil" (they look like contradictory statements to me) but otherwise they were pretty concise.
For the third one, I think if I was doing this essay I would interpret it as:
Pick either communities, or a group with various size, origin and purpose and then briefly explain why that group or community is important to you and its impact on you.
Good luck on your pursuits. :)
The first essay is concise and too the point, I think its wonderful. Like the other person said, towards the end its a little contradictory but that can be easily fixed.
The second essay is good too but I'd add more specifics about the university. You talk about multiple interests, maybe you could include the fact that the Brown grading system encourages you to be well rounded and take classes not pertaining to your major but classes that you enjoy as well, something along those lines, just a suggestion.
For the questionable essay prompt, if you belong to different ethnicity like hispanic or indian or what ever, you could talk about your culture or your roots. If not you could talk about a tight community you have been part of, maybe a church group or volunteer organization or club and how that has affected you and help you grow as a person? i think its a pretty general question but that's my opinion.
Could you please take a look at my UChicago essay, it would be greatly appreciated.
