Please help critique my Rutgers essay.
The essay prompt is Required Essay: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
I am not really sure if I answered the question sufficiently. Please help me with proofreading and suggestions are welcomed and very appreciated.
I am from a country made up of thousands of islands known as the Philippines. I came to America when I was three years old. I missed the Philippines and often would sit up at night hoping for someone to take me back. The only english words I could speak confidently were "No" and "Yes." Even though english was not my first language, it quickly became my primary language. Over time, I began to assimilate more and more to the western culture, but I never forgot about where I came from and my original roots. Like many others, my family and I still carry on many of my homeland's traditions with every passing holiday and often celebrate the holidays in a similar fashion as they would if they were back in the Philippines. I often think about where I come from and the life of my family who still dwell in the Philippines. My family and I often vacation to the Philippines to visit my extended family and just to enjoy the sights the islands have to offer. Whenever I visit, I love seeing how different the environment, establishments, and people are as compared to people here. My pinsans (cousins) always make me feel welcomed whenever I visit. All of my titos (uncles) and titas (aunts) were always in attendance for our arrival. They cook a lot of traditional filipino foods such as adobo or kare-kare. I always remember to bring back pasalubongs (gifts) to my friends to share a little piece of the Philippines with them.
I was lucky enough to be raised in a diverse town. The diversity of the town I grew up in exposed me to people that came from different backgrounds. From my class picture in elementary school, one would be able to identify the diverse group of children in one classroom. When I was younger, I did not see any of my friends and peers being different from me or coming from a different background. As I grew older, I realized the diverse group of friends I had that came from different ethnicities ranging from those from Indian roots to ones of Italian decent. I am able to share Filipino aspects with both of my groups of friends who are and are not of the same ethnicity. It is amazing to me to see how different cultures can be and how similar they can be at the same time. I love being able to experience different culture's traditions and cuisine. Many of my friends have invited me to share in their family party. I was exposed to different music, people, and food.
The Rutgers institution embodies a distinct "melting pot" because of the different backgrounds the students and faculty come from. It is a community filled with a variety of backgrounds and experiences. With my own personal experiences and activities, I feel that I can contribute to such an environment. There can never be enough diversity in an area. The way biodiversity provides richness to our environment and world is similar to the effect of the diversity of people from different backgrounds in an institution. I can contribute to the Rutgers environment by bringing my own cultural traditions and experiences and sharing them with others.
The only English words I could speak confidently were "No" and "Yes." Even though English was not my first language, it quickly became my primary language.
They cook a lot of traditional Filipino foods such as adobo or kare-kare.
When I was younger, I did not see any of my friends and peers as being different from me or coming from a different background.
Many of my friends have invited me to share in their family parties .
I think you answered the prompt nicely. Good luck in school, and have fun!
:)
