Photography and bees - Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities.

I love photography like a bee loves honey.I discovered photography in the tenth grade when my art teacher gave us cameras to take photos for a photo contest. The beauty of life was revealed in my eyes. I felt like this was the love of my life. I found peace in photography. I love capturing the things that people do not usually recognize as beauty. It records portions of my life and places and events I have been to. I love looking at photographs and remembering what happened. They give me good memories, and memories keep me sane.

Hi! I think you should show more variety in the beginning of you sentences. You have a lot of "I love..." sentences.

... ha hahaa :D ... Very nice : )


I suggest:

It records my heat felt memories and keeps them close to my heart :D

Somewhere try to include the aesthetic part of photography ... It's an art that only creative people can enjoy : )
Do you have a particular word count limit? Otherwise you can include one or two additional sentences to enrich this.
Good Job and Good luck! : )

Is this better ?

I love photography like a bee loves honey. Photography has always been a part of my life. My grandfather was a great photographer. I remembered that when he died. This whole time I loved photography and forgot about his illustrious skills. I never realized until my art teacher gave us students cameras to go out and take photos for several contests. The beauty of life was revealed in my eyes. I felt like this was the love of my life. . I love capturing the things that people do not usually recognize as beauty. It records portions of my life and places and events I have been to. I love looking at photographs and remembering what happened. A photograph says a thousand words that has a million different meanings to every individual.

I went to the New York State Summer Program for the Arts at SUNY Oswego and I was takign photography class. It was a wild experience. The teachers were much different than I thought they were going to be. I met a lot of people with very unique personalities. In this program I learned the deepness, and basics that I did not know of in photography. One month of photography, eight hours a day was really worth it.

I have won many contests in school and other places. I take pictures at church events and school awards. Photography is one of my great accomplishments. It is one thing I will forever be involved in.