Hi every one,
I am an international student from Yemen. I don't know much in writing, so I would want any kind of help.
This is my last commonapp supplemental questions, so I hope I receive all your help.. Please, critique and be harsh because I want my last commonapp assignments be the best of all of mine, so please don't be stingy when giving advice... If you have any way that I can make my writing more exciting please help. Also, help me with any rewording, grammar corrections, sentence editing, or content ideas. I also would like to thank you in advance for your precious help!
Question 1: Gettysburg College students are engaged learners and 'make a difference' both on and off campus through their academic and extracurricular activities. Describe a situation in which you have made a difference in your school or community and what you learned from that experience.
I have always heard the Arabic proverb that says "The good word breaks the arid rod." Every time I heard it, I wondered what it implied, and decided to investigate. Years passed but I never found a satisfying explanation. I also did not see how my way returning home from school every day was building an illustration to approach the meaning-the real one!
For my senior year, I moved to a new school, which was one hour far from home. I used to be delayed even more when I returned home in the afternoon, probably most because of the unavoidable street market near the school. No way a car could make its way through it in less than an hour, yet I enjoyed walking through it not only because I could pass it faster but also because of the delicious types of food sold there. Selling their food, people expected nothing more than money from their customers. However, whenever I bought something, I said "thank you," as I appreciated the food and liked its taste, before I gave them the money.
At first, nobody really cared about it, but as time passed, people began reacting to me positively. As I showed gratitude to them, food sellers started to exchange appreciation with me. When I declared I was grateful, people would smile at me and say thank you in exchange. Then they asked my friends about me when I didn't come. After that, I started to get free food when I didn't have enough money. People, in the other hand, activated their love towards their jobs and developed their ways of nice communications with others. Satisfied with their jobs, people figured other ways to be happy.
I started to get sense of how a simple phrase, like "thank you," could make a big difference in people's lives. I realized how accidently I did something to make people live even happier with what they did for a living. I had never known that walking through the market, at the first place, was not only for saving time passing it. I also learned that I shouldn't expect any benefits from people when I use praising phrases to express my appreciation of something; yet I could exploit them to receive my ultimate desired goals.
Question 2: How did you become interested in Gettysburg College?The school is suggesting a very short answer for this question.
"Why don't you take a look at Gettysburg College?" My Opportunity Grant scholarship adviser at the Education USA center at AMIDEAST Sanaa asked, adding that Gettysburg was a top liberal arts school with excellent financial aid opportunities for international students. I also did more researching on the Internet to learn more about the School. And the more research I did, the more interested I became.
I want to suggest the word communicative for you. It is a good word! :-)
I perceived, on the other hand, that those sellers developed their communicative ways with their ...
The short answer is not good. "Why don't you take a look at Gettysburg College?" My Opportunity Grant scholarship adviser at the Education USA center at AMIDEAST Sanaa asked, adding that Gettysburg is a top liberal arts school with excellent financial aid opportunities for international students. I also did more researching on the Internet to learn more about the School. And the more research I did, the more interested I became.
Keep this:
Gettysburg is a top liberal arts school with excellent financial aid opportunities for international students.
And list five other great resources at the school. Tell us if there is a professor whom you admire, a club you want to join, etc. Tell us several reasons why this school is better than your other options.
:-)
Thanks, Kevin. Here is what I finally came up with for the second question. It's a little more than the characters limit (750). I need a way to make it a little shorter, and please tell me what you think about it or if you have any other suggestions.
Again, thanks in advance!
Answer: My Opportunity Grant scholarship adviser at the Education USA center at AMIDEAST Sanaa suggested Gettysburg to me, adding that Gettysburg was a top liberal arts school with excellent financial aid opportunities for international students. I also did some researching on the Internet to learn more about the school, and the more research I did, the more interested I became; with Gettysburg College, I can achieve academic success while keeping up with my social life. Outside the classrooms, there are around 800 events yearly and 120 clubs and organizations, let alone the sports, where I can spend my time, contentedly, to develop myself intellectually and physically. I have been eager to participate in many of those new events, and I believe that Gettysburg will give me the chance I need.
about (400) characters.
