I have heard many comments on how technology , physics and engineering are impossible for women to major in and admire .Through out my high school years I have took this as an advantage to prove society wrong .I made sure that I entered many courses involving these majors. I believe that the only way to achieve knowledge is by experiencing, engaging ,fulfilling ,and sharing knowledge to people.
Hi sarakhalaf,
Could you give more details about how you should write your essay?
I think that you wrote a good start point but if it is just your essay maybe is a bit meagre.
However I would change something:
--I have heard many comments on how technology , physics and engineering are impossible for women to major in and admire
I would write this a little different, like saying thatSome people think/say that...instead of saying that you have heard that
For the rest it is a bit hard to help because, as I said, it is really brief.
Maybe you could say why it is hard for a woman to be an engineer , why you want to became one and why there is no need to believe that a man should be better than a woman. You can even use historical figures, there are many examples. Some of them even used male pseudonyms to be accepted.
And you could write more about your experiences and goals.
Hope it helps.
Hi Sara, first of all, I hope that this is just an introduction to your essay as this is very short to respond to the prompt. Speaking of the prompt, it asks for important information about your career goals and how you would implement them, meaning what are the actions you will take in order to reach those goals.
Now, I must say that this part of the essay is off to a good start, just a little bit of modification and this will serve a good introduction.
- and admirelet alone accomplish .
- I have took this as antaken advantage
- of this advancement to prove society wrong.
- I entered many courses involvingwith these majors. - to achieveacquire knowledge
- and sharing these acquired knowledge
- to other people.
There you have it Sara, I really hope that this is just an introduction as it serves its purpose if it is.
Hi, Sara.
Even though your essay is short, I get what you are trying to say.
How about changing the first and second sentences like this :
For many years, I had to endure people saying "Technology , physics and engineering are impossible for women to major in and admire." Throughout my high school years, I was motivated rather than frustrated, and studied even harder, so that I could prove the stereotypes wrong.
I hope you can get the best result!
