I tried to answer the prompt as best I could. Any suggestions or just a proofread would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
"I know we'll miss each other but I'll still be here another two years!"
It was the 1st grade and I had just told my best friend my family was planning a big move. We were walking back from recess and the news was heartbreaking to both of us, but we still had plenty of time, or so we thought. The days melted to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years until I was waving goodbye to my best friend from the back of our blue SUV, as she ran behind it as if to prolong the length of our friendship by a few desperate seconds. Then all at once, she was gone and with her, the world as I knew it.
I moved to Riverside when I was eight years-old and was swept away from the coastal, cool atmosphere of my old town into the agricultural community of my present one. My home was sandwiched in the middle of a ten-acre orange grove, and it felt completely foreign. My parents decided that since we had more oranges than we could ever consume, it would be wise to sell them. So all at once my previous life of leisure ended as I now had to immerse myself in the midst of our grove, plucking orange after orange in the heat of the day. Physical activity was not something I had thrived at, with my early, clumsy sporting experiments proving I wasn't an athlete prodigy, but picking oranges was a simple and purposeful task. It was a way of helping my family and giving back to my community through the sweetness of our crop.
When I started high school, my family began selling our oranges to my local school district, which are included in the lunches at elementary schools. This changed things as we were no longer selling bags of oranges here and there to friends but hundreds of bags to who I envisioned as a sea of children. We were able to enlist the help of a few others with this new endeavor, but there were still times when I felt overwhelmed with the new responsibility of our massive orange orders that largely limited my time for school. I was able to learn from my parents what it is to balance mandatory duties with family ones, as they both balance their twelve-hour work days with the combined physical aspect of selling oranges. Back in my old town, I would've never chosen physical labor over a stroll along the beach, but through my experiences I came to find significance behind the hard work that important responsibilities require. I remember learning once that much of Riverside's orange groves are now gone, so having a patch of history within twenty feet of me is something that I greatly appreciate. Our trees aren't centuries old, yet to me they represent the antiquated bond that life's natural treasures can bring. The simplicity of the fruit brings joy to people in a way that I haven't seen another object bring.
In that same aspect, I myself am a rather simple person. I'm not a child prodigy or a national award winner, but I have come to realize you don't have to be to make a difference. I've put effort into providing oranges to children who I've never actually seen, yet I know my efforts haven't been in vain. I know that at a salad bar in some school there's a child excited to have oranges with their lunch and has no idea where they come from, yet if I can contribute to that small moment of excitement, then I've made a difference. Growing up, I never thought I'd spend as much time with a fruit as I do now. It's not something I willingly chose for myself, but was something I was able to adapt to and learn to love.
Amanda, the story that you presented is more of a background story than a transition to adulthood narration. There is no real rite of passage that would show more concrete proof of your transition to adulthood. Most of the information you shared has mostly to do with a change in your outlook in life, which does not necessarily qualify as a transition to adulthood.
It would be best for you to just submit this essay using the new prompt instead of having to write a totally new, prompt compliant essay. The prompt I have in mind for you to use with this essay is as follows:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Your story fits in with all of the requirements of the aforementioned prompt. That is why I am asking you to consider changing the prompt instead of revising your essay. It makes no sense for you to write a totally new essay when all you have to do is change the prompt and you will have a ready made essay to submit for it :-)
