Hi this is my first time using EssayForum.com, and I really need help with an essay for Columbia.
Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why (1500 characters)
Here's my response:
Pioneers and visionaries, such as Brian DePalma, Langston Hughes, and Barack Obama? Check. Seventy-eight Nobel Laureates, nine of whom are currently on the faculty? Check. In Manhattan, a borough of the most diverse, ...
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i don't feel passion coming from your essay. while you have a done a great job of including areas where you wish to get involved, and traits that attract you to columbia, it is unclear what you will do while at columbia. i think you should focus on something in particular that attracts you to columbia and emphasize that, showing what you have done. it will add more personality, because right now anyone could have written your statement. good luck!
oh and please comment on my supplement to U of M. I would appreciate it!
I've changes the ending to make it have some passion, which I hope it does. But what's bothering me is how should I make it smooth and specific to Columbia? And how should I give it a glow at the end? Please, help me, I really need this.
Seventy-eight Nobel Laureates, nine of whom are currently on the faculty? Check. In Manhattan, a borough of the most diverse, cosmopolitan city on the planet? Check. Free access to thirty New York City museums? Check. Tall, grooved columns with matching stoned walkways surrounded by crisp, green grass? Check. Two hundred research institutes and centers? One hundred fifty study abroad programs? Eighty areas of study? Five hundred student clubs and organizations? Check. Check. Check. And check.
Every thing about Columbia University appeals to me, but what I find most attractive about it is the biochemistry program it offers through the Department of Chemistry. Ever since my disappointment with the grey, lifeless human sculptures I lumped together in my seventh grade art class, my desire to learn about life and the processes that make it unique has grown. In my years at high school, I've scavenged through honors and AP courses in chemistry and biology, helped out in surgery patient preparation at the hospital, and built microcosms of different ecosystems in Biology Club. At Columbia, I know I will be able to continue learning about life through its biochemistry program because of the research programs it offers.
The check theme is cheesy. It sounds like a commercial. It is better not to just list the good qualities of the school. It is better to give some sentences that express why this school is better for YOU than other schools. It might not be best for everyone, but it is best for you because of your well-developed interests.
:-)
