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'my place among poets' - University of Michigan- A Group You Belong To


steph22222 2 / 3  
Jan 1, 2012   #1
(now this isn't all of it, but am I on the right track?)

I take my place among poets with a love of smooth stanzas and musicians reveling in the perfect harmony of two voices. I situate myself between the writer who listens lovingly to the scratches of her pen on crinkled paper, and the casual observer pricking his ears up to the pitter-patter of raindrops on a window, the tick-tock of an ancient grandfather clock, the smooth gravel of a groggy man's voice, shaken awake.

I am an audiophile, unashamedly in love with sound- with noise, with the force pounding on our eardrums every second of every day.

I was not always like this. However, as I look back on the years past, the swell of sounds engulfs my memory. I am a child repeating my father's erratic words, his accent making the phrases resound like a jagged rock tumbling down a smooth concrete hill. I am the sleepless student tapping her fingertips on the computer keyboard, enviously listening in on the whispery quietness of a sleepy, silent night.

jadore_lamode68 6 / 37  
Jan 1, 2012   #2
This gave me goose bumps. Its soooooo goood! Your ability think outside the box is deff present and word choice makes this an interesting read.

Honestly, the only thing I can think to say is that the ending is a bit abrupt-but I think it can work. No blatant grammar errors or style issues.

Great job! Thanks for the edits and all the best luck.
rockbiter 1 / 16  
Jan 1, 2012   #3
I take my place among poets with a love of smooth stanzas and musicians reveling in the perfect harmony of two voices. I situate myself between the writer who listens lovingly to the scratches of her pen on crinkled paper, and the casual observer pricking his ears up to the pitter-patter of raindrops on a window, the tick-tock of an ancient grandfather clock, (and?) the smooth gravel of a groggy man's voice, shaken awake.

I am an audiophile, unashamedly in love with sound (insert space) - with noise, with the force pounding on our eardrums every second of every day.

First of all, all I have to say is GO BLUE! It's nice to see a fellow (future) Wolverine on here :) You have got yourself a solid essay. I love how you really stepped outside the norm for this essay. It's pretty fantastic, but the end of it ends pretty abruptly. Maybe some way to tie everything together? I believe you have a little bit more than 80 words until you reach the limit. As always, go blue! and good luck!


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