Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Plans upon graduation and the future/ APU admissions essay #2


rejinregine 2 / 5 1  
Feb 14, 2013   #1
2. Please write about any previous commendable experiences, any extra-curricular activities you hope to pursue after you have entered the university, and your plans after graduation from APU.

This is what I wrote:

During my high school days in 78 Senior High School, I participated in a lot of activities. I am involved in various committees. I joined "Paskibra", which main duty is to raise the Indonesian flag during various ceremonies throughout the year. "Paskibra" had held various activities; the biggest and latest event was "KRISTAL", a marching competition held in 78 Senior High School. The contestants came from various junior and high schools in Jakarta and its surrounding regions. Also, last year I participated in a national contest, where my school is assessed as the healthiest school in Indonesia. 78 Senior High School successfully claimed the third prize and the third healthiest school in Indonesia. These activities that I joined in high school have given me so much knowledge. I learn how to work in groups and deal with so many personalities. It is demanded that group issues have to be resolved first before moving on to individual issues. Automatically, I also learned how to set priority scale and to manage timing. Juggling between schools and clubs, I need to manage my time to get both things done well. Having engaged in many committees, I surely have encountered many unsuspecting turns of events on field. This required me to think fast and decide what is best to resolve the issue. This trains the spontaneity inside me.

I am intrigued by the range of clubs offered at APU. I am able to choose either cultural or sport clubs even volunteer works. I am personally interested in joining tea ceremony club, Onsen, and badminton club. I choose to participate in tea ceremony club because I am curious how the art of preparing and presenting tea has become a huge impact on Japanese society. It will be a definite pleasure and honor to be involved in such a genuine Japanese culture.

Meanwhile, I chose badminton because I enjoy the sport so much and I also want to maintain my fitness. I have enjoyed this sport since my primary school days. Lastly, I want to join the Onsen as well. Beppu is renowned for its Onsens. Through this club, I hope it will give me the chance to explore and experience Beppu even more. Besides, I have never been to Onsen before, so by joining the club, I will know what Onsens are like. Also, by joining these clubs, I will be getting new friends who share the same interests as mine. I believe that college is not all about studying, but also balancing it with social activities as well. But of course, on top of those, I will definitely prioritize my study in APU because the main reason I come to APU is to pursue my further education.

Upon the completion of my study, I wish to work in Japan. I personally want to give back to the country that will have paid my education and living cost by then. Of course, almost every accounting graduates would love to work for one of "The Big Four" auditing firms; KPMG, Deloitte, PwC, or Ernst & Young. Other than that, I am also interested in working as an accountant for a fashion company. It will be fantastic to be working in place where I have interest in and is the same field as my background education.

After a few years, I want to pursue my graduate degree either in Europe; preferably France; or in New York. I am planning on paying my school fees using the salary I would have earned by then or by getting scholarship to support my study.

The ending is not finished yet, and quite frankly I currently do not have any idea how to end the essay properly. Any suggestions for the ending and the whole essay?

(word count: 594/600 words)
rlyin0171 1 / 4  
Feb 14, 2013   #2
You have participated many various activities, but I don't see their influences on you. I think you should write more influences from the activities instead of listing them.


Home / Undergraduate / Plans upon graduation and the future/ APU admissions essay #2
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳