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"playing worst-case scenarios in my head" - Emerson Supp Essay Title Of my Life


cindykins 3 / 4  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Hey guys! I started this essay for emerson on what the title of my life would be. I want to add a little more to it. If you guys could give me some pointer that would be great. Thanks in advance.

I stared into my mother's eyes and for the first time in my life I saw nothing behind them. I knew instantly that something was wrong. As I helped her out of the McDonald's bathroom, fear began to set in. I quickly called an ambulance still not understanding what was going. All I knew is that the person that had been everything to me and had always protected me was slipping through my fingers. After the paramedics arrived, my life was put on pause. Till this day I do not remember what happened next. I remember playing worst-case scenarios in my head, but I do not remember the ambulance ride.

My world came back to reality when I was sitting next to my dad in the hospital and he was informing me that my mom had a stroke. She was alive and stable, but still could not speak or move well. Relief sunk in me, but deep inside there was still that notion that I could have lost the only person that has ever really meant something to me. I was thirteen.

I think that day I grew up into a more mature human being. From then on I took life much more seriously and started to think about other people more than just myself. My life did not have meaning until that point in my life. I realized that I had not done anything that my parents could truly be proud of. That day I vowed that I would do everything with much more effort than I did before. If it was in school, I was going to push myself to get that "A". If it was basketball, I was going to push myself to be the best team player.

So if I were to title my life right now, I would title it "Maritza", my mother's name. She has motivated me to be the best person that I could ever be. Whenever I am stressed about an exam and I feel like giving up, I think of my mom and how she overcame something that could have been much more terrible.

Today, my mom is healthier than ever. My goal is to make my parents proud in every aspect of my life. Emerson College is the next step in achieving this goal. With an education at Emerson, I know that I can go on and have a successful career.
ninasen17 3 / 4  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
Today, my mom is healthy, walking and talking normally. - this is a bit awkward. i'm not quite sure how to change it but i would alter it in some way.

I feel that I have made both my parents proud so far and I know if I am admitted to Emerson I will continue to make them proud. - this insinuates that your parents would not be proud of you if you were rejected from Emerson. rephrase this so that its more about how you would continue to push yourself, regardless of whether or not Emerson accepts you without actually stating it.

touching response, otherwise. good explanation as to why and good introduction.


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