My family environmentThe atmosphere in my family was XXX, so that it shaped/moldedimpacted my nature and personality in a way that I can confidently say that I fight hard to achieve my goals no matter howby providing me with the confidence to succeed in an onerous environmentthe situation is . Through all of the difficulties my parents have overcomerough experiences ,
I am in the top 15% of my class, my GPA is above average, and have played 4 years of volleyball. They are the reason why I am the young woman that I am.
You didn't talk about your successes and why you know yourself a successful person till this last sentence. I think you should state this earlier and listing these points one after another is not a good way for presenting your strong points, you should mention them more creatively. Maybe it is a good idea to say how the difficult situations you have experienced could help you to become successful in studies or sport. Talk about your motivations and the role of your parents more clearly.