This is my college essay i want to make sure nothing needs to be changed to make it sound better
Plumbing
David Connell
For my sixth Christmas I received a toolbox filled with tools. With a black plastic body, a two-piece wooden top clamps together for holding wood to be sawed. The box is about one foot tall by one foot wide by one foot long. It opens up to reveal all the tools inside, tools ranging from screwdrivers and pliers to hammers and wrenches. Using a label maker my name was put onto every tool so I could distinguish what tools were mine from all the others in the room. Now, most the tools have been combined with the hundreds of tools my dad has bought throughout the years, and I'll still see my name on a random tool being used for measuring a pipe or unscrewing a bolt. As for my toolbox, it's still being used to cut down new hockey sticks.
That toolbox signified my official new title of Dad's partner. Since then I, have been helping my dad with whatever project he starts that week. Together, we have rebuilt our deck, moved faucets, and ripped out floorboards. Whenever my dad is not at work, he gets bored and finds things to fix with and is never willing to rest. This process has been going on for as long as I can remember. Every job requires multiple trips to Lowes, always realizing an hour after the trip that we need more supplies and new tools. These trips have filled up our workroom with just about every kind of tool ever made, most of which have only one use like the manometer he bought for measuring the gas pressure of his new grill.
At some point in every project, there is always something that goes wrong. There's always one thing that doesn't work out like it's supposed to which makes a seemingly easy task take so much longer than expected. One of the times I'll never forget was the time we had to put in new pipes for a faucet. We were almost finished, except we couldn't get all of the water out of the pipe. The water ended up cooling the sauder whenever we tried to attach the pipes, keeping them from being completely sealed and leaving a leak. Since the two pipes were already partially saudered together, they had to be cut out.
I never thought that I had actually remembered how to do any of the things I had been learning throughout the years. Then one day when we were in the middle of redoing our basement we needed to hook up all the lights before the floor guy got there. My dad was about to do the lights when he was called into work so he couldn't, and no one else knew how to put them up so I had to go downstairs and put them in myself. To my surprise, when the light switch was flipped the lights actually came on.
These projects with my dad have taught me an array of skills from the easiest of jobs like learning how to saw a piece of wood with my toolbox to some of the more difficult like wiring an outlet. But I have also learned that you sometimes have to work harder to get it right, but its better to do it now than to have to go back and fix it later. I hope to continue working on these kinds of projects even after I leave my parents' house and to maintain my dad's goal to never call a professional.
This sentence is confusing...
With a black plastic body, a two-piece wooden top clamps together for holding wood to be sawed.
This might work better:
Atop a black plastic body, a two-piece wooden top clamps together for holding wood to be sawed.
The box is about one foot tall by one foot wide by one foot long.---it this description really necessary?
That toolbox signified my official new title of as "Dad's partner." ---I think " " marks help make this clearer.
Since then I, comma: Since then, I have been helping my dad with whatever project he starts that on any given week.
"There" is sometimes a weak way to start a part of a sentence:
At some point in every project, there is always something always goes wrong. There's always o One thing can always be expected not to work out like it's supposed to, which makes a seemingly easy task take so much longer than expected. ----great sentence!
...partially saudered soldered together,...
At the beginning and end of this essay, I think you should tell the reader why this story is significant... is it related to your chosen career?
It sounds like your dad has a lot of wisdom...
:-)
