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"Poem reading competition" - 150 words about meaningful activity


AlinaSkripets 11 / 41 5  
Oct 14, 2014   #1
This is a short 150 words essay

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences that were particularly meaningful to you.

I frequently participate in events promoting peace, equality and human rights. Through reading poems in public, I find it in my power to turn people's attention by the means of peaceful protest to quintessential social or political issues. So many faces hear me and my words have different influence on each. Still I desperately need more - my fresh air, my inspiration, my joy. Getting ready for performing a poem, I experience variety of emotions from fear to pride, from agony when a right intonation is so hard to find to a sense of absolute confidence when I finish the prep-work. As a result, I obtain a universal skill of expressing myself logically and persuasively. Reading poems is doubtlessly my way to tell the world how exactly I feel about a problem. It's also rewarding to read poems in orphanages as I believe it helps children to grow emotionally and develop sense of social justice. A poem can do anything to human's heart if delivered appropriately.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 14, 2014   #2
Alina, I have never read such an engaging and well thought essay from you yet. Not until you presented this one for review :-) Congratulations on a job well done. It is an essay that not only answers the prompt, but also show us a side to you that may not have been brought to light by your other common app essays. That said, I have only one comment to make about the essay that I hope you will take into consideration. I am not forcing a revision. The essay is alright as it is, I am merely saying that you can strengthen its message by rearranging certain parts :-)

I frequently take part in the events promoting peace, equality and human rights

- This is the sentence that I would open this sentence with. Then I would make the poetry reading relate to this by explaining how you believe in the power of peaceful protests. Adding that this is an activity that you also perform at orphanages because it makes you feel like you are able to influence the future generation by doing so. Influencing the future generation by leaving your mark in their young minds is something that impresses people. It makes you seem selfless and willing to give of yourself so that others may improve.
OP AlinaSkripets 11 / 41 5  
Oct 14, 2014   #3
:) Thank you, Vangiespen, it means a lot to me.

As I am applying early to the two schools that rejected me regular last year, I think the revision you suggested would work pefectly. It will not only make my message stronger but will show them that my interest hasn't changed but my view on it have matured. (The essay here was already sent to Princeton for the same prompt last year.) I'll post the new version shortly
OP AlinaSkripets 11 / 41 5  
Oct 14, 2014   #4
Okay, here comes a new version 2014 :)
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 14, 2014   #5
Still I desperately need more - my fresh air, my inspiration, my joy.
As a result, I obtain a universal skill of expressing myself ...

Alina, try this version out. It is 149 words:

I frequently participate in events promoting peace, equality and human rights. Through reading poems in public, I find it in my power to turn people's attention by the means of peaceful protest to quintessential social or political issues. So many faces hear me and my words have different influence on each.Getting ready for performing a poem, I experience variety of emotions from fear to pride, from agony when a right intonation is so hard to find to a sense of absolute confidence when I finish the prep-work. I obtain a universal skill of expressing myself logically and persuasively. Reading poems is doubtlessly my way to tell the world how exactly I feel about a problem. It's also rewarding to read poems in orphanages as I believe it helps children to grow emotionally and develop sense of social justice. A poem can do anything to human's heart if delivered appropriately


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