Short poem + year 2050 move of my life - NYU SUPPLEMENT

Hi, whoever's as crazy enough as I am to be up this late for an essay, please give me any cricism or advice that you can. Please and thank you!!!

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

I would love to accompany Gaia, from the series Fearless, on one of her nightly adventures in Central Park to find and punish those who dare try and take advantage of innocent victims. Although she normally works alone, I wouldn't mind receiving a few insults in exchange for helping fight crime. Sometimes the police doesn't get there in time and so, it is a civilian's obligation to step in and put down insurrections. Afterwards, we would find the neareest coffee shop for a box of donuts.

Write a haiku, limerick, or short (eight lines or less) poem that best represents you.

I may be fickle,
I may be loud,
I may be very fond of clouds.
I may love milano cookies,
I may love beating up my brother,
I may love running with many runners.
I may not, however, have permission to drive.

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

As a female from a traditional Indian family, Sheetal is expected to have an arranged marriage. Before that happens, she escapes her home in California with the help of NYU to New York City, where she indulges in her newfound freedom. There she follows her dreams of someday becoming a traveling doctor, saving the poverty stricken worldwide. With her dream fulfilled, Sheetal returns home for the first time in years. But her family disowns their dishonorable daughter. Crushed, she commits suicide.

This feels a little awkward. Maybe make the first clause a bit more about you, while still getting the main point across?



This makes you seem a little violent, something I don't think NYU would take very kindly to. Maybe change it to something nicer? Or not. It is really funny. =)

Oh, and your movie needs a title; they ask for a name for your phenomenal movie.

This made me smile a lot, though. NYU would be crazy not to take you. =)

If you have the time, would you review my common app essay? Thanks, and good luck!

I'm familiar with the fearless series from a long time ago, embarassingly enough, so I understand your paragraph completely. Another person might not though.

thanks for the update. I'll see if I can change it. and can you take a look at my commonapp essay if you get a chance? thanks

I would revise these two sections just because everything else actually decribes things about you/your activities, but other than having a sweet tooth and bullying your brother (lol), these 2 lines do not describe you. That's just how I feel though.

Can you check my essays if you get a chance?