RA essay--Purpose of RA position and responsibilites

Hello! I'm applying to be an RA and I have to write an essay stating the purpose of an RA. So far I only have an introduction. Can you help me assess whether or not I'm going on the right track or is this essay too cliche? Should I begin a different way? THANKS!! Deadline is VERY SOON! If you help me I will return the favor.

If you were to ask me a year ago, what the purpose of an resident assistant (RA) is I probably would have said "to be the parent of the dorm." While in some ways that statement may be true, I know now that a RA does more than that. My second year living on campus has allowed me to observe the duties of an RA most closely. Summarizing my observations I can confidentially say that the RA acts more than a parent to the residents; It is responsible for maintainng good order in the residence hall, maintainng a positive living enviornment and promoting academic, personal and social growth for students. Essentially, the RA is the "superman/woman" or role model for the not only the residental life but also the University.

If you were to ask me a year ago, what the purpose of an resident assistant (RA) is I probably would have said "to be the parent of the dorm." While in some ways that statement may be true, I know now that a RA does more than that . My second year living on campus has allowed me to observe the duties of an RA most closely. Here you need to expand. Summarizing my observations I can confidentially say that the RA acts more than a parent to the residents; It is responsible for maintainng good order in the residence hall, maintainng a positive living enviornment and promoting academic, personal and social growth for students. Essentially, the RA is the "superman/woman" or role model for the not only the residental life but also the U niversity.

:)