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'positive psychology, brain science, and creativity' - Extracurricular Activity Short


Musicforleisure 3 / 33  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Comments/ suggestions are highly appreciated : )
Please help me proofread it, too
Thanks!

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I, the Founder of the [name] Club, initiated and designed the club to center on perception, cognition, positive psychology, brain science, and creativity. Activities in the club include integrating the use of Mind Maps into study habits; promoting Gratitude Journals (intended to feature Positive Psychology); and brainteasers. I still remember receiving "I've never thought of that before!" as a response when I explained that the brain is a self-organizing system and that shifting attention from something significant to something insignificant can result in creativity. Thus, the process of unraveling the truth about the brain to the [name] Club members is very enjoyable to me. Some students' proposed solutions to certain problems are bizarre. However, they make sense in the hindsight and demonstrate how the new type of thinking is at work, after all.
tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
Hey musicforleisure!
Sorry if my comments are kind of harsh! =(

Well first, I think it's a very good essay. Your description of the club makes it interesting, but I think if you took out the last two sentences and maybe expanded on he remember receiving the "I've never thought of that before" event (like what happened and your thoughts/emotions), I think that would greatly improve your essay because when I'm reading your last two sentences, it doesn't really conclude your short essay and it's kind of not exciting as the beginning. I mean, thats my opinion.

Good luck!
=)
OP Musicforleisure 3 / 33  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
No, the comments are not harsh at all : ) I appreciate them. Thank you for your help!


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