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"Post 9/11 backlash violence" Local/national concern admissions essay


midnight 2 / 4  
Oct 27, 2010   #1
Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. (250-350 words)

September 11, 2001. Immersed in fear I watched the news quietly and I held back my tears. Not too far from where I lived existed an abstract reality where smoke filled the air and chaos screamed through the streets. America was attacked and fear struck society. Together America struggled, but America also became divided.

After this tragedy, there was an increase in hate crimes, caused simply by ignorance. People assume one person who looks like the Taliban represents a group of people and that group represents evil. Arab Americans, Muslim Americans, and Asian Americans became targets of backlash violence, but I never realized the magnitude of backlash violence until my community was affected.

Suddenly I was afraid of being an American Sikh; an innocent Sikh was murdered because "he wore a turban and Osama Bin Laden wears a turban." I was afraid for my brothers, father, mother, and peers whom also depict that same stereotypical image. People were taunted and harassed; walking down the street people yelled out "look at that terrorist" or "go back to your country." My psyche had completely changed, when I went out in public people glared at me with suspicion like I was less than human; we had become outsiders. Nine years have passed; society continues to hate and crime still exists.

People fall back on violence for emotional stability and mourn the dead with violence; but they must find other ways to get through the heartache. I myself attended poetry readings, awareness seminars and listened to people's compelling stories that brought tears to my eyes, but hearing these stories created this sense of strength letting me know that I was not alone. This experience has taught me to be a stronger person, and despite my instinct to; never over generalize or assume things. These situations made me aware and believe now, more than ever, that we truly are "one, created by the one creator of all creation. No enemy, no animosity. Love for one, love for all." - Guru Nanak, founder of the Sikh religion.
Rich Monte 2 / 94 2  
Oct 27, 2010   #2
Immersed in fear I watched the news quietly and I held back my tears.

Are you sure you watched the real thing? Watch "September Clues" on Youtube - then you can completely revise your essay if you care about its accuracy:
OP midnight 2 / 4  
Oct 27, 2010   #3
Video isn't working on my laptop...so what exactly are you trying to say?
Rich Monte 2 / 94 2  
Oct 27, 2010   #4
If you watch it, you may get a clue, cannot describe it, there are several parts.
OP midnight 2 / 4  
Oct 27, 2010   #5
Oh k...i hope your not trying to say that these events didn't happen?
Rich Monte 2 / 94 2  
Oct 27, 2010   #6
They DID happen but what you saw on TV was produced in a certain way so that you should "get a certain point that the news media wanted you to get" - in other words the news was directed, not just happened.

The fact you noticed the post 911 backslash shows you can get the clue after you watch these documentaries.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 2, 2010   #7
I myself attending poetry readings and awareness seminars, listening to people's compelling stories that brought tears to my eyes, but hearing these stories created this sense of strength letting me know that I was not alone.

These situations made me aware and believe now, more than ever, that we truly are "one, created by the one creator of all creation.

The way this is written... it is like poetry in the form of an essay. Rhythmic and meaningful, it contains the energy of inspiration that makes me want to go write something of my own. I think the AO reader will really appreciate it.

Rick, did you even read the essay? It was about a personal experience, and you are challenging the ACCURACY of it. I understand that you have strong political views, but if you want to express them you have to pay your dues by offering at least a little constructive feedback that has something to do with the kid's essay.

And to balance out the one-sided view in this thread, I'll offer this, for whatever it is worth to any visitors to this page: truthaction.org/debunkingseptemberclues.pdf
iceui2 - / 70  
Nov 2, 2010   #8
You were less than 10 when this happened. Please don't make up stuff and say "I held back my tears". I personally don't recommend using 9/11 as a starting off point - there are people who were actually there on that day and wrote much more emotional essays.

Instead, you could start off with something like: "As an Indian-American, I am forever bound to the hyphen." (don't use that exactly, since it's already be used successfully to Stanford.) It just starts off PERSONAL, and I am immediately enthralled to it - do you see where I am going? I doubt it's 9/11 itself that has effected you, but what occurred AFTER. So please respect those who lost their loved ones on that day and choose a different beginning, a more personal beginning.


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