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"post undergraduate goals" - Berkeley's HAAS business school application essay


ukapoor 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2018   #1
The prompt is: "Describe your immediate post-undergraduate goals. Why is a business degree from Berkeley Haas essential in helping you achieve these goals?" It is a 500 word max essay. I definitely think the grammar and transitions need work but I want to know if it is a good essay conceptually before I make grammar edits. I will appreciate any feedback. Here is the essay:

applying Business strategies to medicine



While studying at Berkeley for the past year, I came to realize that one of the most common questions asked is my choice of major. While others can answer this question with a simple "I study electrical engineering" or "I am a business major," my response is a little more complicated. I intend to double major in both biology and business.

When I voice this choice of major, I am almost always met with a confused expression, often followed by a "why would you do that to yourself?" The truth is that I have noticed that business knowledge is vital for almost every career field, since the free market is the main driving force of innovation. Even as I interned at Lam Research this summer- a company where I was focused on running chemical processes- the key aspects of business were everywhere. We had to speed up the reactions in the chamber in order to cut costs, we had to change our process settings to our customer's specifications in order to build customer relations, and we had to complete our recipe in time in order to improve company earnings for that quarter. Through this, I learned that knowledge of business principles is essential to working in the industry.

This is the reason why, after I complete my undergraduate studies, I wish to pursue a dual MD/MBA degree. I want to open my own practice in the future, and I will need to learn the foundations of business in order to achieve this goal. That is why a business degree from Haas is essential. I want to learn about different business models, strategies and applications for my own business. I want to learn how to create a professional network for my business, how to finance it, and how to market it properly. All of these are skills that I can learn from Berkeley Haas.

This desire to learn is one of the Haas defining principles, and it resonates with me intensely. I believe that I can learn a lot from the world of business even while working in a biological field. Business strategies have already been applied to technological fields, which was a major factor for the technological revolution of the 21st century, so why not apply these strategies to medicine? That is why, even though my choice of major may be surprising at first, it is essential to achieving my goals in the future.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,320 1844  
Nov 24, 2018   #2
Utsav, this is a simplistic response to the statement. As such, it does not really respond to the question nor describe a solid post undergraduate goal. Saying, "I plan to open a practice" leaves the question, "what kind of practice?" As a biology major, as you planning to open a diagnostic lab? Or maybe go through with a medical degree which will eventually lead to a medical practice for you? You need to be more specific with regards to your career goals in relation to the business degree. If you can explain what your post study plan will be, the reviewer will have a clearer idea of the unique MBA requirement that you developed for yourself.

I want you to think of a deeper reason for your choice of university. The reason you have given is too vague, it doesn't really make your university choice stand out. It feels like the description you are providing is meant as a general basis of your choice rather than a specific reason or goal for your interest in HAAS. If I were the reviewer, I would not be impressed by the essay you have provided. It requires more depth, not just the shallow thinking of a soon to be college graduate. Think forward 5 years, then explain how your business education will help you achieve your career goals over 5 years. That creates the imperative requirement for higher learning in your essay.


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