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Poverty,Cheerleading, NYC, Ice Cream -- My Personal Statement

em2always 15 / 79  
Jan 6, 2011   #1
When I was six, my Mom drove me to the local church. Once inside, a nice lady took us into a room I'd never seen before; it was filled with food. I felt powerful, as my Mom let me pick out whatever I liked. I remember my tiny hands stretching to reach the lime Jell-O and brownie mixes that lined the shelves. As the masses of ravioli cans, pancake mixes, and pineapple rings filled our cart, it seemed like Christmas.

As we left the parking lot, our car stuffed with treasures, I told my Mom how much fun I had and asked if we were coming back soon. She just smiled and kissed my forehead, but I saw a hint of sadness in her face. I didn't know then what I know now. To me, the day was magical. To my Mom, it was our life in poverty.

While living with my Mom, I moved to three different states and changed schools four times. When I was nine, I moved in with my Dad and that change brought stability. I now live across the street from the house where he grew up. The hallways I walk everyday are the same one's my uncles and aunts roamed thirty years ago when my Grandfather was principal. Despite this overwhelming sense of community and family galore, I seldom see my siblings and mother and have lived the majority of my recent childhood as an only child. This isolation has taught me that if I want something in life, it is up to me to get it. I am self- motivated, practical, and independent.

It was in cheerleading that I found my sisters. We are a group of eight girls, committed to the team and to each other, united by our love of the sport. During freshman year, my cheerleading squad wanted to go to a summer camp that would teach us new stunts and formations. I was determined that we attend. I drafted a grant request letter, attached our application, and sent it to Student Council, Sports Boosters, and the Romulus Faculty Association. A few days later, I was informed that the request for eight hundred dollars had been approved. This donation greatly reduced the cost of camp and enabled my teammates and me to enjoy an amazing weekend of collaboration with cheerleaders from all over Upstate NY.

In addition to inspiring me to pursue my goals, the relative solitude of my early childhood has made me practical. If want something, I need to find a way to realize it myself. Last summer, I wanted a job. I rode my bike to Ovid, a town five miles up the hill, and started filling out applications at local stores. The second place I stopped was an ice cream shop called the Village Soft Serve. After an impromptu five minute interview with the boss, I was hired and told to come back that night. Months later, I still spend my weekends riding ten miles a day to make Oreo chip flurries and I love every minute.

Last August, I took a trip to New York City with my grandmother and had a day to myself to explore the city. It was the first time I'd been on my own and I was ecstatic to drink in the sights. I walked to Central Park to see the seals dancing in the water. I saw the polar bears with their snowy paws pressed against the glass. An artist in Central Park drew my portrait, as people crowded around to watch. His tanned, wrinkled hands were marked by decades of art. With my portrait tucked under my arm, I walked confidently towards 42nd Street. I had an ice cream cone in Times Square and sat on the staircase, just feeding off the energy of the city. A girl came up to me, thinking I was a local, and asked me for directions. Elated from fitting in so well, I got on the subway solo for the first time and headed to Wall Street to visit my sister. Walking through the crowd I had an enormous smile on my face, self satisfied to be doing my own thing. I was happy.

I accept my past, embrace my present, and strive to create my own future. In school I have reached to the top of my class, taken the hardest courses available, and excelled in sports. I push myself every day not because I think that is what others expect of me, but because that is me.

this was my personal statment for college. but now im applying for scholarships with it. comments/corrections are very appreciated!!
melissajoy 4 / 13  
Jan 6, 2011   #2
Once inside, a nice lady took us into a room I'd never seen before; it was filled with food. -I don't know about the semicolon here?

I think your essay is phenominal. You're an excellent writer with a powerful story. Thanks for sharing. I'd love it if you'd read mine for me, I posted a second draft for my statement of purpose. :) Good luck with the scholarships.
atham64 4 / 12  
Jan 6, 2011   #3
what is the topic? about what inspired you? good reasons but need to tie it all in and how they relate to each other.

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