Kosovo, a tiny dot in any geographical map,
is the country I come from. As the newest country in the world, one that has gotten its independence in 2008, it has an astonishing history and culture which can be traced back
thousands of years.
Even today when ten years have passed,
the marks of the destructive war can still be seen on the faces of more than 1.4 million unemployed people, more than half of Kosovo's whole population.
Agony and misery were
what they reflected, accompanied by the knowledge only a cruel life can teach.
She looked broken; laying sprawled in the cold cement, with no one there to protect her, and
nothing to shield her from what no child should face.
The drive to contribute towards my country's development has been my greatest motivation. The need to shine myself; to be one of those heartening rays has made me seek greatness, for I am human and it is in my nature to do humane things.
DEFINITELY elaborate on that, because I don't think the essay reflect much on your personality. There are many facts about Kosovo, but not about you.
They say the common app essay should be around 500 words, so I think 520 is good. Although since you should add more, you should probably deleted some facts.