Hey. This is my first attempt at writing an essay for the common application. I need to send it out by Sunday. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I am able to see the power of passion. It is passion that seems to be the driving force behind things that are accomplished beyond what you think you can do. It is passion that is the true ingredient in why some people are so successful at what they do.
One of my true passions is playing piano. It is the music of Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Chopin, and Liszt that I enjoy playing most. Friends and family often ask why I don't play more modern music. I tell them I just feel a connection to classical music. Though I must admit, I've recently been taking a liking to some of the songs by The Beatles. It was somewhere at the end of my sophomore year that my piano teacher would stress over and over that to get to the next
level I would need to work even harder and be more committed to the piano. For some reason that summer everything started to click for me.
During that same summer I realized what I wanted to do in life; practice law with a possible future in politics. I would always find myself discussing politics with my father at the dinner table. We were usually on different ends of the political spectrum which definitely made for some interesting dinner conversation. When my parents saw my conviction for wanting to be a lawyer, they would stress the same message as my piano teacher. My parents would say, If I want to be a successful lawyer, laying the groundwork starts now. I need to work harder and be more committed toward school.
I knew my piano teacher and parents were giving me the right guidance and that I had to challenge myself. I took honor courses junior year and AP courses senior year achieveing a 4.0 GPA junior year and first-half of senior year. In order to play classical piano at a high level you need structure, order and discipline. These same necessities are needed to excel with academics in high school.
The success I'm having with piano and in school is giving me great confidence in what I'm capable of achieving. I feel the boundaries are limitless in what you can accomplish if you're truly passionate about what you are doing and if you are willing to put in the hard work and long hours that usually come with success. Knowing how competitive the field of law is, I am certain I am on the right course. I will continue to excel, not only in high school, but throughout my 4 years
at college as college is the stepping stone to law school.
That last sentence is very hard to read! I think it should be simplified, even though I like the little trick it plays on my mind. You'll be a good negotiator, because you can hypnotize people with your complex sentences. :-) But let's go back to that concept, passion. You introduced it, but you did not try to actually explain it. We can only explain things according to our subjective experience, so based on your experiences of these things you are passionate about, how can you explain passion? Why are we all passionate about different things? What determines passion and what does it mean and how can you best manage your passion and harness its energy? More analysis of the concept... that is what is necessary.
Remember, the purpose of a composition like this is to make it possible to share one profound idea that cannot be explained in just a sentence or two. Make this all about a concept, and dive into that concept.
:-)
Thanks for all the help so far.
I'm having the most difficulty with the first paragraph.
I am able to see the power of passion. It is passion that seems to be the driving force behind things that are accomplished beyond what you think you can do. It is passion that is the true ingredient in why some people are so successful at what they do. If I have this passion in what I do, then great things can happen to me.
Any advice?
Hey Stumped,
Here is my advice:
I am able to see the power of passion. It is passion that seems to be the driving force behind things that are accomplished beyond what you think you can do. It is passion that is the true ingredient in why some people are so successful at what they do. If I have this passion in what I do, then great things can happen to me ==> The passion... The force that seems driving behind things that are accomplished beyond what you think you can do. The true ingredient in why so many people are successful at what they do. That is the way that I see the passion. If I have this passion in what I do, then great things can happen to me.
good luck!
BTW, check mine, too
It's going in today. Can somebody give it one last quick read?
I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to come back to this one. I bet you will do very well!
I think it is important to be concise:
I am able to see the power of passion. It is passion that seems to be Passion is the driving force behind things that are accomplished beyond what people think they can do. It is passion that is the true ingredient in why enabling some people to be successful at what they do.
:-)
