Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


The Power of Perseverance - PS; My mom has always told me that quitting is not an option


ck135 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2012   #1
The Power of Perseverance

My mom has always told me that quitting is not an option, and that I can make it through anything I set my mind to; so, naturally, I have grown up as a very persevering person. Many of the obstacles in my life that have tested my perseverance include being put into new circumstances and thus seeing how far I will go to reach my goal.

One of the first times my determination was tested was on my first day of competitive cheerleading tumbling practice. My coach took me to the trampoline and told me that we were going to work on a back handspring. I had seen them done before, but was terrified at the thought of trusting just my hands to hold me while I jumped backwards and upside-down. After many reluctant attempts to do just that, I did my first back handspring on the trampoline while my coach spotted me. I knew I had to get over my fear, because of my immense passion for competitive cheerleading. Through a few frustrating months of building technique, improving strength, and gaining perseverance, I finally did my back handspring by myself. I was ecstatic and amazed at how much I had achieved, and that is one of the first times I realized how much power, effort and time went behind the word "persevering".

As I was going into the ninth grade, college quickly approached my thoughts. I realized that I had the opportunity to further improve my education, so I visited my current school, and knew it was the place for me. Upon getting accepted, I was so excited and could not wait for the first day of meeting new people, taking more challenging classes, and experiencing the new learning environment. Yet, when I walked into the crowded hallway on my first day, I suddenly realized how nervous I was. Soon after, I found out that I am part of the small percentage of the population that is introverted. Though being an introvert means you are more independent and self-reliant and does not mean that you are anti-social, I learned that people could perceive you as such. This raised a social obstacle for myself, but I knew that if I ultimately wanted to reach my goal of bettering my education in high school and later in college, I would have to get through situations that made me uncomfortable. Since transferring, I have found a perfect way to use my introverted qualities in a positive way, both in my social and learning experience. I am not sure I would have stayed at the school I am at now if it were not for my drive to achieve and refusal to quit.

The following summer, I was accepted into the University of Pittsburgh Health Career Scholars Academy, and on the first day at Orientation, the student seated next to me told me about how we had to write a 65-page paper by the end of the one-month program. At first, I did not believe what he had told me, but I soon found out he was right, and that I would have to write a 14-page research paper as well. Since one other student and myself were the only ones out of the program of 100 students that did not have laptops, we constantly found ourselves spending our free time each day in the computer lab rather than out with everyone else roaming the streets of Pittsburgh. A few days before the papers were due, I realized I would not have enough time to finish my work required to graduate as well as the daily homeworks and projects. So, I borrowed my roommate's iPad and pulled my first all-nighter tapping at the screen until I was allowed out of the dorm in the morning to transfer the document to a computer. In the end, I submitted my essays on time and was able to graduate in the ceremony on my last day, but it would never have been possible if I had not set my mind on staying awake and giving up my free time to make such a valuable experience worth my time and effort, and not waste it.

All in all, my experiences from starting competitive cheerleading, going to a new school, and pushing my limits to do what was needed have tested my attitude of unconditional perseverance and not giving up on the goals that I have set for myself. Throughout my experiences like these, I have learned to know the importance of retaining the perseverance to get through whatever life throws at me and what my future holds.
geebs5 4 / 6 1  
Dec 6, 2012   #2
Overall, I think your essay was lovely :) I couldn't find any big grammar problems but then again, grammar is not my forte. I will however suggest that you try showing your theme of the essay rather than just telling the reader.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Dec 6, 2012   #3
I know you're using the five-paragraph approach, but it comes off as a little stiff. You have good experiences and write very well, but if you included some dialogue or description and/or stuck to one specific example of your perseverance, it could be a lot more powerful. Like geebs5 said, it's better to show that you were determined and let readers figure that out on their own instead of just saying it.
neptmg 2 / 4  
Dec 6, 2012   #4
It's good piece of writing. The essay clearly reflects the theme of how your experiences made you who you are now. I would suggest you to proofread again or read it loud to yourself and see if there are any awkward moments.
Safire - / 2  
Dec 7, 2012   #5
I think your essay is excellent and you clearly write very well. Keep it up, proofread always.


Home / Undergraduate / The Power of Perseverance - PS; My mom has always told me that quitting is not an option
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳