250-650 word limit (so far i have around 356)
"Hello this is your Captain speaking, we are about to depart to London in a few minutes please pay attention to our fine cabin crew as they address the safety features throughout our flight. Thank you."
My mind set is the clearest it will ever be flying above Earth. Away from my stressful responsibilities, I am at peace and the truest form of myself. No distractions. No interruptions. Nothing. Just flying through the night sky heading to wherever the world will take me.
My mother enjoys telling people that I was practically born on an airplane. My life is very mobile and I am constantly moving from country to country every few years. I can only get to where I want to go by an airplane. For 2-10 hours, I am zoned out in my own world contemplating about everything and anything that comes to mind.
A lot of people complain about the problems of flying; small planes, over-booked planes, long flight durations, turbulence, etc.; Not me. I am the kind of person that will pack a bag and can survive on plane heading to an unknown destination later to come back with a bunch of stories to tell.
The farthest I can remember being on a plane was when I was moving from Cambodia to Pakistan. I was a 2nd grader back then and I did not understand where we were going and why we were leaving Cambodia. The flight that brought me to Pakistan changed every aspect of my life to what I had experience in Cambodia. I was introduced to a culture of hospitality, good nature, unique customs, and a mouth-watering cuisine like no other.
Rima, your story is very nice. But it does not fully answer the prompt. You are talking about a one time deal that allowed you to feel the most relaxed during a long haul flight. What the essay is asking you to describe is a place that you normally frequent when you need to get away from the stress of everyday life or student responsibilities. It could be something as abstract as the night sky, or a concrete place like your car or bedroom. The airplane would be a good place to use, provided you explain how you feel perfectly content each time you board the plane and fly. It can't be the one time experience of almost having the whole place to yourself. This essay is not about describing a travel experience, it is about describing a sensation that can only be felt once the utmost of contentment is achieved.
Needless to say, it would be best for you to rethink the place where you feel most content and then revise the paper accordingly. Don't feel bad. A lot of the students get this wrong the first time they write about it. It is like a trick question that you need to analyze before you respond. Try another place closer to what the admissions officer may want to read about. Just make sure it is a place you frequent so that you can build up the explanation about how you came to feel content each time you find yourself in that place.
thank you so much for the feedback, i had a feeling i was not fully understanding this prompt. if i want to continue with the whole airplane situation, could i possibly emphasize more on the relaxation part of boarding a flight such as looking out the window, seeing the sunset coming up and the colorful saturation of the sun on the clouds, listening to my own personalized music, having peace and quiet away from my stress back down in Earth.
i really wanted to come up with something unusual, a place people otherwise wouldn't think of being content because i am personally a traveler.
if this idea doesn't work, can it be something abstract as just my bedroom? coming back from school and just laying down to rest my mind and such
thank you once again for your feedback!
You can certainly continue to develop the airplane basis of your story. If I may, I would like to offer you some advise about it. It would be in the best interest of your essay to build up the reasons for your contentment on the plane. Tell us about the simple contentment you felt the first time you got on a plane. Build up your contentment from there using your other flights and what helped with your sense of contentment.
You can write a draft and post it here. We can look it over and advice you about how to improve or change it. Just relax and try to recall your trips. That ought to help you develop it.
